Asalmo-alaikum waramatullah brothers and sisters. I have recently given my life to Allah after being inconsistent in namaz for quite some time.
My question is, is it permissible to pray for justice if one is harmed by another? I was in a relationship with a woman. We talked a lot but never kissed or even held hands let alone fornicate. She told me countless times that she would be my wife and I would introduce her to Islam by the way of her heart. Through love, understanding and prayer.
As it turns out she was satan in woman's flesh. She used mind games, emotional abuse and various other techniques to get me to bend to her will as I withered in disrepair. The relationship was on and off for two years again, no kissing, no holding hands nothing that would make me impure in the eyes of Allah the Almighty. After heavily investing in the relationship three times (I loved this woman and cared for her) she left me without any heed to my feelings and I was destroyed. She was the first woman I really cared about and I started doing drugs (marijuana and prescription medication) to cope with the loss.
I have never harmed anyone in my life and I was full of joy and happiness until she emotionally destroyed me in hopes that I may one day lead her to Islam. Needless to say I grew farther and farther apart from Allah and it was only a few days ago I found out that she was using me as an emotional crutch while fornicating with other men. So basically my anxiety, depression, stress and night after night of sleeplessness was for nothing as she was content with using me.
Of course this sent me into further depression but now I am slowly coming out of it with Allah's divine guidance.
I wanted to save this woman and bring her into the light and in trying to do so I went into darkness and wasted much time where I could have been helping others and praying.
My question is - is it permissible to ask Allah for justice so that she may go through the same struggle that I endured? I cannot forgive and I cannot forget what she did to me so that is out of the question. I will not pray for her destruction and I will not curse her. I will simply ask for justice from Allah.
Thank you for reading and answering.