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Salam Alaykom. I have been married for nearly 7 years now and have 2 beautiful children and pregnant with my third. I've always been a God-fearing person and try very hard to please Allah. Like all humans though, I'm not perfect...far from it. I miss prayers sometimes due to forgetfulness etc, and insh'Allah I'm working on rectifying that. Now my main issue is with my husband. He never really was a religious man when I got married to him, but he has become increasingly worse over the years. We bought a house after our 1st year of marriage, and had my son after the 2nd year. Since then he's become very lazy, obese, unhygienic and doesn't pray. It makes me really depressed seeing him like this because I want the best for him. I constantly remind him to get up and pray with me, but he keeps saying yeah I will later, or soon. He doesn't have proper hygiene when it comes to using the bathroom as I can constantly smell bad odors, and I know he doesn't use water to purify himself, so even if he does decide to pray he isn't completing ablution correctly. When he arrives home from work he doesn't shower or clean up, he always smells. I ask him politely, "Do you want me to get your clothes for you to shower so you can relax?" And he says "I don't need to shower." He often comes to me for intimacy after the kids are asleep but I say I can't. The hygiene issues are a big thing for me. The smell puts me off and his weight really crushes me. If I kindly reject he starts using religion as a way of hurting my feelings and tells me Allah will be displeased with any woman that rejects her husband. Then I feel really bad and allow him, but I feel like crying the whole time. He finishes within 2minutes and it is a very unloving feeling. Then he will say to me if I didn't enjoy it, then it is ok to masturbate I until I reach what I want. I'm very embarrassed writing this but I am desperate for help. I have spoken to him nicely about these things but he always gets upset and doesn't want to talk about it. What can I do, as I'm in a situation that feels like there's no fix. I also beg him to sell our house to resolve the issue of mortgage and interest and we will rent, and he always starts an argument about it. I don't want to live under these conditions. It's haram. What are my rights? Must I deal with this and what should I do? Please help me anyone.

asked 1011 Muslimah86's gravatar image

Assalam alikum dear sister, im so sorry that you are in this situation because it is very important for a muslim wife to please her husband.Im a young girl so i dont know exactly how a married women's life is but i think that you can help your husband to get more fresh and think about hygiene stuffs.For instance you can ask him to take a shower wit you and then have some fun in there toghether ...another way can be that you can tell him indirectly for instance talking about one of your friends who has problems with her husband who is not paying attention to hygiene stuffs(sorry sometimes you have to lie) and then make him realize what you mean by that.The most important part is that you can pray for him and ask almighty Allah to guide him .Good luck and may almighty Allah help you

answered 157 Diyana's gravatar image

Please post your question on a website where a scholar can answer it sister. You have some serious issues going on and you should know what your rights are regarding this where a person with proper Islamic knowledge can advice you. salaam

answered 151 tahira's gravatar image
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Asked: Jan 04 at 23:14

Seen: 3,473 times

Last updated: Jan 07 at 01:22

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