Sallam alaikun waramotulahi wabarakatuhu,i used to have a friend which happen to b a teacher in my children's school.we got intimate and i do tell her some confidential tins,tins dat bothers me,tins troubling my marriage bcos i see her as a godly woman.i tink problems shared is half solved and it will reduce d burden of been depress all alone.instead she will go to her school and mocked me with it,she didnt say it out of pity.she really mocked with with every single tin i shared with her.i didnt forgive her quickly cos i was seriously hurt but later i decided to let it go and also ask Allah for forgiveness as well.i still give her tins wen i have,i do call her wen d need arises and yesterday was her bday which someone told me later in the nite and i sent her bday wishes.but my mind doesnt want to move close to her again.if i see her i will greet her and send txt msg to her if theres an important msg to deliver.pls is it ok like dat in islam or its a sin nt to move close to a betrayal like her again.pls enlighten me.ma sallam and sorry for d long write up
Alaiykum Salaam, Dear sister, apologies for the earlier misunderstanding. The situation which you present is still unfortunate as the woman in question should never have imparted any of the information which you shared with her in confidence. Islamically, we are warned to stay away from gossip and not to speak ill of others. Thus, the woman in question is to a great degree ignorant of good morals and manners. On your part, you are demonstrating your good and forgiving nature by not harbouring hate and anger against her. Allah tells us in the Qur'an:
"Pardon them and overlook - Allah loves those who do good" (Qur'an 5:13)
We are also told:
'The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allâh ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.
But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character).' (Qur'an 41:34-35)
You could speak with the woman regarding the incident and explain to her quietly that what she has done has hurt your feelings and that you are disappointed. I would advise you not to take her in confidence from here on and perhaps your lesson learnt is not to entrust others with highly personal matters but turn to Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala for guidance. Share with Him as there is no one who can listen better than He can or assist you more skilfully than Him. You have the best of guides and helpers right there with you.
You are advised to treat her graciously and in a kind manner and if she realises her error and seeks out your friendship with sincerity, you could try to begin again.
Also, be mindful that befriending righteous and virtuous Muslims is an essential means for staying on the Straight Path.
The bases for the actions of those who follow the evil ways are corrupt; their actions are built upon misguidance and deviation. Their deeds are worthless to them as Allah (swt) said:
And We will proceed to what they have done of deeds, so We shall render them to scattered floating dust.” Qur’an 25:23
In a Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (saws) said:
‘The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows.. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Thus seek friendship with the righteous ones and have a peace of mind that you are in good company.
Ay Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala guide you and help you overcome your difficulties, Salaam
Am a woman nt a man stronghold,she used to b my friend(woman to woman friendship)pls nt a man pls get me right.sallam