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Salaam,

The man I wish to marry is pious and of good character but he is a Pakistani Kenyan and I am Bengali. His family are happy with the match, but my father refuses to even meet him because of the cultural difference. Also because the person whom my father wishes I marry is far more wealthy and educated and I am sure a good man. My fathers behaviour is purely due to the 'izzot'- honour. My mother was very fond of my choice but now has said I will not even be allowed to her funeral. They have said I have to choose their choice or I am cut off from them, when I explained that is not a choice that is force as how can I leave them, but if they care for my happiness my father should at least meet my choice they stated well that's not an option either i choose my happiness or my family. I will have no wali should I marry my choice. It is bad but I have become emotionally attached to my choice and cannot imagine marrying anyone else. But first and Foremost i am aware i have a duty to obey my parents on the other hand this will by my marriage so ultimately i have to live with decision? I have performed istikhara. What do I do, what is my Islamic duty/ right must I marry my parents choose? Please advice me. JazakAllah khair

asked 10 Nyasmin's gravatar image

Best to ask someone more knowledgeable about such issues (I do not want to tell you what to do in such a serious issue regarding your life)...

But I will say generally: 1. you can not marry without your wali's permission and 2. they can not force you to marry someone who you do not want to marry. Now, your parents have your best interests in mind so you should listen to them. But if they are being irrational, not allowing you to marry, etc.. then guardianship can be transferred to someone like your grandpa (and if you have no one like that, then to a trustworthy, local Islamic leader/judge).

May Allah سبحانه و تعالى make things easy for you.

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answered 6036 iLove01's gravatar image
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Asked: Feb 24 at 09:38

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Last updated: Feb 24 at 16:29



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