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Assalamualaikum, I am in a very very very complicated problem with the guy Ive been loving for the past 2 years. We were in a relation for 2 years (but we never ever did anything that will be haram according to Islam) with a little bit of problem in the middle. but that was solved long ago, Alhamdulillah. But then there were problems from my family. They did not want me to be with him. While this problem was quietly going on he decided to go to UK, get some work there, and get married to some other girl whom he had never seen. who will be chosen by his relatives living there. he says he has decided this because, he can't live in this country, do nothing and can't tolerate the pain of staying away from me detached from me. We argued a lot, fought a lot on this matter. We had disconnected all our links. stopped talking over phone, deleted from fb. no skyping. nothing. then one day when I was missing him a lot I went to his profile and saw this random girl commenting a lot there. I got a lot jealous. I thought, was he lying to me or what? I was in a LOT of anxiety at that time. I wasn't connected to him. Plus, he was also trying to ignore me a lot from the time we were fighting on the matter. so I was scared that he may not answer me if I ask him who she was and get angry. So I just thought of asking this random girl who she was very politely. @ the end of my convo with her, it was clear that he didn't have anything with her. they were just friends. but the girl was a bit weird. I mean, I was talking to her politely from the beginning, but she was feeling too offended that I was asking her such a question about her friend with whom she is not related in any intimate way. I mean she was reacting kinda too much. So she told him that I asked her about him. He got SO VERY angry at me that I didn't ask him and so he had to feel ashamed in front of his friend. Did I do anything wrong according to Islam?? He says, had he known I'm that cheap, complicated, low-level, shameless girl, he wouldn't even have talked with me! Now he hates me like hell!! But trust me, I did that just to stop this unnecessary extreme anxiety and suspicion that was going inside me. and had I had a scope of asking him, I would have. But I didn't! I tried my best to explain that to him and also apologized a lot. But he hates me so much now!!! Please tell me what do I do?? Is there a way out in Islam that can help me?? He says, he has lost all the respect he had for me. How am I supposed to live with the fact that the person Ive loved the most after my parents, now hates me like hell and Ive completely lost him! This pain is SO unbearable. What do I do??? Why is my love for him always facing such difficult situations? I mean, we have never ever done anything that would be haram according to Islam. No dating, no touching, nothing. We just used to see each other during festivals, or othr family occasions, phone call, fb chat, Skype. but no haram stuff there. Then why?! Ive loved him with ALL my heart and soul all these years. What do I do?? Please help me out. Is there any Islamic way that can help me??? Is there any mistake I have done according to Islam??

asked 202 Frustrated's gravatar image


Look, I shall not go in too deep. You necessitate to realize that there is no purpose in passing against the will of your families. "Allah's pleasure rests in parents' pleasure."

I, personally, long back ago did not do what my dad stressed me to. I now repent. At times, think hard to make it up, seek forgiveness.

What you did out of anxiousness is an innate human behaviour, and what your so called 'love' did, is over-reacting. There's no need of that, madam. You are not wrong in that.

Stop blaming yourself, you are not guilty of anything. He, apparently has moved on. So should you. I have been in a similar situation, ours' was a 14 year old. So, I can feel what you feel. You need to change your attitude toward him. It hurts, hurts a lot, but does not kill.

"tadapta hai sisakta hai tarasta hai magar, usay keh do kisi ke hijr mein marta nahi koi"

From Allah comes weakness in you, and from Him shall come your strength.

Solution: Ask Allah for forgiveness and seek from Him to strengthen you and your heart. “In-nallaha ma-as Saabreen.” - Quran.

If you further need advice, mail me

answered 6810 Someone's gravatar image
edited Mar 09 at 13:02

Thank you for your advice. I guess I have to wait with more patience to see what Allah does with this problem, 'n keep praying to Him. 'n yeah, I agree with you on the point that, we must not go against our parents. But I was not "exactly" doing so. I was simply waiting quietly for my studies to finish, him to settle down and so that he can come up to my parents with his family formally. But everything is going just so crazy now. Please keep me in your Prayers. PS. It would be lovely to have some more answers from other learned members to observe the views of different people around.

answered 202 Frustrated's gravatar image

May Allah give you patience and reward you for your perseverance. Indeed, Allah is with the one who is patient in difficult times. Invoke Allah to help you through your tests, and difficulties and continuously, make dua after each salah:

"Oh! Allah, make easy for me, what is difficult for me."

I shall pray for you, and you do for me too.

answered 6810 Someone's gravatar image
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Asked: Mar 09 at 04:39

Seen: 678 times

Last updated: Mar 12 at 12:24

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