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Asalamualaikum,am an Afghan sister and I recently met this Jamaican brother who I would like to get married to. He's is on his deen and is a good practicing Muslim. My parents are really strict and want me to get married to someone from the same country & tribe which is very upsetting. Because they are really curtural like that and if I don't marry what they desire regarding someone from the same tribe than my family would get a bad name and everyone would apparently talk about us because the brother is black. I am really against this. We are one Ummah, skin colour shouldn't matter. Have you got any advice for me or a way how to approach my parents? Jazakallah khair.

asked 101 SdotMuslimah's gravatar image

Salaam! Yes I have some advice. The shayton was the first to be racist when he wouldn't bow to Adam allahi Salaam . So your family is following the shayton with this matter !Racism is from shayton. I seek refuge in Allah from that, Make duaa sis! Salam

(Mar 09 at 13:39) sadie ♦ sadie's gravatar image

Salamu Alaikum. Sister just keep praying about it, like the brothers said.However, this is about sticking to the truth, as long as the brother is a practicing Muslim and you love him, go ahead and marry him. Do not marry anyone that your parents, friends or relatives want you to marry except you love him. You parents are not the only Muslim racist, there are many of them who pretend to be true Muslim but they heavily bear the disease of racism in their hearts. No human being chose his race, you could have been black and your parents too but Allah know why He chose you to be what you are. This could be a test for both you and your parents. In Islam we know people can get married for four reason but the best among them is to marry base on the Deen of your partner. May Allah guide us and may Allah ease the hearts of your parents and give them knowledge and understanding of race. Ameen.

answered 151 SalamuAlaikum's gravatar image

AssalaamuAlaykum Wr Wb Sister in Deen.

Yes, of course the colour, ethnicity and all such qualities should not have to be considered. Although, it again, depends why such criterion is considered. Maybe, your parents want you to stay nearer after you being married. I would suggest you not to go against your parents' will. Obey your parents, that shall be good for you.

Allah's pleasure lies in Parents' pleasure.

Now, you should try to do this.

  1. Offer two rakhat nafal salaah, and make dua and seek Allah's guidance and ask Him to make your parents' hearts kind enough so that you could talk to them about it.

  2. Talk to your parents about it. Tell them it would make you happy. They shall understand.

  3. If, they do not, you should do as your parents will and wish.

  4. You may also do Salat-ul-Istikhara. This salaah is used to ask Allah for guidance to decide in critical matters. I will attach a file to guide you to do Istikhara. Click here

answered 6810 Someone's gravatar image
edited Mar 09 at 14:38
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Asked: Mar 09 at 05:07

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Last updated: Mar 09 at 15:19

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