Hello, I am a girl Muslim 14 year old. I wear the hijab and pray. I want to know when does God actually answer our prayers? My life is literally hell right now. My parents are strict! I can't go out with my friends. I can't text or call anyone, not even girls. Most my home work is online but my family doesn't have internet, so I have to beg them to get it in order to do my home work ONLY!! They don't trust me what so ever. And I can't go over my friends house to do homework. I'm failing because of them.Every time I bring up the subject of graduating from collage they curse at me and say "you are a girl you can't work, you were only born to reproduce only! ( have kids)" I get mad. And my brothers don't give me anything, They give everything to their wives only, and they even make up lies about me so my parents won't trust me. I could tell my parents of all the haram things they have done but I heard that if you expose a Muslim of their secrets God will expose your secrets in the end. I suffer from bipolar disorder and depression.And at school there is a boy I like but I don't talk to him and I think he likes me too. I'm not sure but sometime I dream of him and sometimes I pray for God to let him like me I get furious because no one loves me and no one will ever. My parents tell me that they hate me. So I wonder why would God create me just to suffer when No one likes me. I hate myself and I want to kill my self and I even think about running away and stepping out of Islam
My dear little sister. Think of a drawing, poem, or any artistic or cognitive creation of yours, and tell me do you not like it instead of the flaws and incorrections it may have? No matter what others say of it, you still tend to like it. Let me explain to you like this. I am not a good painter, but I drew a painting of a mountain and some more scenery, with zeal and joy. I could not make it beautiful, not even as I imagined in my own mind that I would make it. My friend, who lives with me, says he does not like it, but I DO. Even if it is not accurate (as I willed it to be), I still like it.
Same way, my dear sister, Allah, has created you. He created you just as He willed and wanted. You are a Perfect creation of His. Why would He not like and love you, when you are just as the same as He made you? He likes and loves you, in the same way I like my inaccurate painting, regardless of what others think, or say about you.
I hope and pray that you get my point.
Asalam alikum warathmatullai wabaraktuhu dear sister!
I am glad that I have got a chance to answer your worries In sha Allah. I exactly understand what you are going through, and it reminds me of my days back when I was in your age, im 24 now. Firstly I want to say Ma sha Allah because at this particular age of dressing up well, you are following the islamic culture of wearing the hijab. Allah does answer your prayers, but it takes time, because he knows that when he wants to give something to someone he might delay it sometimes because, they would be in much haste and ruin themselves.
You must be wondering that, I wouldn't do anything that would ruin myself or my reputation etc but Allah is our creator and he is all wise and all knowing. I faced the same situation as you did, i couldnt go out with my girlfriends, so having friends who are boys are too far. I never had internet at home, and i used to go to internet cafe with my aunty to do my course works etc. All my friends were advanced knowing a lot of things on the internet, and I used to look all dumb and naive. Nobody would want to trust me at home, I used to beg for freedom, I used to cry day and night for the situation I was in. I used to be alone all the time, even though I had people around me.
But now i realize why I was being treated that way. See your parents are more experienced and they have passed your age, so they understand how it is to be in your age. The life of a teenager is like a bird which is not experienced to fly, but wants to fly badly. This is the age where a girl tend to pass wrong information to other girls informing a lot of things that they might get attracted too. And this attraction gives them courage to go against the will of Allah and their parents and get into a trap. Its not about you, its about your age.
Dont put yourself into worries about your parents hating you. i know exactly what you feel, i have been through this situation, but all you need now is to put your trust in Allah, and pray that is your key. Ask Allah to calm your parents down, pour out your sorrows to your maker, read and do some research when you have some spare time, about the life of the prophet pbuh, and the difficulties and hardships he had faced in his life, the tests, which he had faced, and you will learn some tolerance and guidance.
When i was in your age, I started to pray. Now i can see the results, although it took a while. It was worth it. Hope it helps.
May Allah lighten your burden and bring calmness and some easiness into your parents hearts, may they become nice to you and understand your situation. May Allah the all wise guide you into the straight path and never leave astray and bless you with wisdom and knowledge. Ameen.