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I am the first wife, at the time me and my husband lived in two different areas due to me migrating to look for an income. My husband does not work and has no income. At the time I did not know that he had a relationship with the second wife although I did catch them and I told her he was married. I was a revert Muslim and she at the time has not reverted to Islam. My husband as a result of his secret affair did not have regular contact with me and I got impatient with him and asked him to talaq me which he gladly did only to marry the second wife two days later and she reverted to Islam. Then he took me back and I return to where my husband lived in my house. I agreed for the second wife also to move in with us. Both of us started madrassa and I grew in my Imaan and in Islam. I was financially distraught and the second wife was swimming in money. Only to find out 18 months later that she was stealing money from her employer. She was also having relationships with two other men while she was married to my husband. My husband talaq her as a result. My husband is a financial burden on me and as a result I suffer financially. As a result my husband want to take back the second wife to use her for her stolen money and to complete his mission to make of her a good muslim on the expense of our marriage and me suffering. I can't have any more children as I am much older than my husband, but the second wife also can't have children and never had and is a little younger than me but also older than my husband. The difference is that she can pay for a tube baby with her stolen money.

I am very angry. I do not believe that the second wife is good for me. I am a lawyer and I cannot get involve with criminals. I am also legally married to my husband and it will affect me and my profession should he enjoy her stolen money, knowing that she steals. My husband's excuse to make the second wife a good muslim is no excuse for me to take her back as she will then run out of money and he will look for the next victim to take money. Astagfirrulah.

asked 10 Khalida's gravatar image

Aoa

What is a man in husband-wife relationship?

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means...[4:34]

Technically he is,not a man wrt above verse. To have a second wife is extra responsibility on husband's part (second marriage is nor encouraged nor mandatory but is a option for men if and only if they can support 'financially' and can do 'justice'), but why marry second when he can't fulfil the rights of the first?

The choice is yours. Your husband is,not doing as Allah commands hence there is a role reversal there.

Jazkallah khair

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answered 8638 abdul_wasay's gravatar image

Salaam brother and shokran for the answer. May Allah bless you. Ameen

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answered 10 Khalida's gravatar image

Salam sister,

It seems as though your husband is not giving you the rights which Allah ordained for you as a woman. A woman's rights are just as important as a males and this is made very clear in the holy Quran and sunnah. I would advise you to try speak with your husband and let him know how you feel. In terms of marrying for money, gently advise how wrong his intentions are Islamically. Perhaps you may get a good response? You should not have to suffer like this, but there may be a lot of reward in this for you if you remain strong. See if you can get any response from him. Also make plenty of dua. If after your attempts, he continues to deny you your right to be taken care of, and continues to plan to obtain money through haram and immoral ways, you are well within your rights to seek an end to the marriage. Of course this is the absolute last option, but if he refuses to change this is your God given right. You sound like a strong lady mashallah. I know it is hard when people advise you to have patience when only you know what you are going through, but please try, you sound very patient mashallah. Make plenty of dua Inshallah, Allah sees everything. May Allah bless you Inshallah. Ameen.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.”

The prophet SAW said: “It is enough sin for a man not to provide for his dependents.” [Abu Daawood]

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answered 10 leyla1's gravatar image
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Asked: Mar 22 at 04:50

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