Salamualaykum brothers and sister. Im going through hardships right now and i seek good advice. My mind feels like its going to pop from thinking. I have suicidal thoughts, but i know im not gonna do anything like that. I feel really worthless and stupid. I am really lost right now and i really need some advice.
I just recently broke up with my muslim boyfriend. It was because he disrespected me and cursed me. We promised not to that to each other and he broke it. The cursing has been going on from the beginning of our relationship. I thought and expected that he will change.. He also used to physically hurt me when he cant control his anger. Ive suffered so much from the relationship, but i love this guy. He's a very loving and caring person when he's not angry. He treats me like a princess. However, most of the time, he's more ill tempered than loving. So i stayed patient with him and still stood by his side because i didnt want our love to go to waste. I fought for it despite of the bad treatments because i was hoping he'll show his good side more. I really love him so I wanted it to work. I wanted to marry this guy. i left my friends and dedicated my life to make our relationship work. But now, im left alone. I cant stand it anymore, im suffering too much. And now, i found out that im pregnant. What should i do? Im alone. I tried talking to him but he just ignore my calls. The heart aches and the problems im facing is consuming me. Ive been praying, asking for help, but im just feeling more lonely. I dont hve friend anymore to run to, and i definetely do not want my family to be burdened. Please help me. Im really lost.