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Aslaam alakim, I'm a revert alhamdiliah who is married to a born muslim who does not practise we have 3 children mash'Allah, my husband doesn't support us in anyway or form I pay for everything, also when I want to go to islamic lectures he says no with no reason, when I do go he won't take me or pick up, the other day if had to make my own way after 10pm from a beautiful conference with a sheikh, he doesn't care about any of us, when I try and talk to him he don't want to knw, my Inlaws though good doesn't think it's a big deal as their other son is the same, they are not encouraged to spend time with us or even shopping I have to go on a bus with 3 kids yet he drives, he sleeps all day I get up at 4am to cook for him majority of the time when he gets in from work, yet when he goes to work he walks out the house without a single word like its a lodger house he says he wants to be with us bt he won't change and trust me he won't. He will not step out the house with me he wud rather go separate I don't want to make Allah swt angry bt is this enough reason to divorce. He as cheated in the past and I have forgiven him

asked 10 Aminaasghar's gravatar image

Can you take divorce?

Valid reasons for divorce are taken from onislam.com:

  1. Physical, mental, or emotional abuse or torture. When one of the spouses becomes abusive and inflicts physical, mental, or emotional torture, and is not willing to change by taking practical measures through therapy or counseling, then it is a valid reason for seeking divorce, for the Islamic principle states, “There shall be no inflicting or receiving of harm.” Zhulm (injustice) is not tolerated in Islam, regardless of who the perpetrator is.

  2. Failure to fulfill the objectives and purposes for which marriage was initiated. This can be utter incompatibility between the partners, which may be expressed by their irreconcilable differences in temperaments, likes, and dislikes.

  3. Marital infidelity. This can be a major cause for dissolution of marriage, for marriage is built on trust and confidence. Its main purpose is to preserve the chastity and modesty of those involved. Once this foundation is eroded and undermined and there is no chance to restore the same, then divorce is the way to go.

  4. Failure of the husband to provide. When the man, who is considered the provider and maintainer of the family, fails to shoulder his responsibilities and the wife decides that she cannot continue tolerating his shirking of responsibility, this is grounds for divorce.

For you the following two apply:

Khul’: It is a divorce issued by the husband in exchange of money. It happens when the wife requests her husband to divorce her, but he refuses unless she returns her dowry. Again, it is the right of the husband and is conditional to his approval.

Faskh; it is a marriage dissolution issued by a judge in response to a request by the wife and normally takes place against the will of the husband. However, the judge has to be appointed either by the leader of the Muslims, or by the Muslim community, or at least recognized as being an Islamic judge by the vast majority of the Muslim community. Merely being an imam neither suffices nor authorises him to dissolve marriages.

Khul is easier in my opinion so returning the dowry and asking for divorce should end the relationship but if he persists then you go for Faskh.

I am in no way commending Talaq (divorce) as it is most detestable lawful act in sight of Allah.

I pray Allah guides you and eases your way.

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answered 8588 abdul_wasay's gravatar image
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Asked: Apr 20 at 15:53

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