Now updated: Islam.com Ramadan calendar - islam.com/salat

(First of all sorry for my bad english, hope you still understand me) Brothers and sisters i am in deep deep sorrow. It wasn't more then 4 months ago, when i met this beautiful, clever, pure and religious girl. I was so in love with her that i almost did everything just to try to catch her attention. I didn’t think about anything else, when I saw her, but just her. She had literally everything a boy would want and I knew from, what other people told me that many other boys were after her 2 and she rejected them all one after another. So first I thought that I wouldn’t stand a chance so what I did was to contact her best girlfriend (somebody told me her name) and I told her that I was deeply in love with her friend, the girl, that I desired so much. In the beginning she started to ask me questions like “would you marry her, have you ever had a girlfriend before etc. “ I answered all of them and she like gave me the “permission” to be with her best friend. So her best friend started to wright to her about me and told her all the stuff that I have told her, so the girl that I loved let’s call her “yasemine” finally began to write to me. After writing with her in about 1 month I finally got her where I wanted, we were “girlfriend and boyfriend”. In our relationship we were having so many fighting’s just like if we were a married couple, when ever she wrote to a boy I would’t to talk to her and ignorer her and the opposite. We have been through literally thick and thin together. Once her relatives were almost finding out that we were together, but luckily (alhamdulilah) they didn’t find out. 2 months in our relationship we made zina (astarghfirullah). We didn’t care at all there because we thought that we anyway was going to get married in the future and had no regrets, both me and her were virgin. After we made zina in the second month, the second month was hell, almost everything was going wrong ( people started to find out me and her were together and it nearly came to her family), so after that we were very carefull with contacting each other. We were writing 24/7 and sending snaps to each other, but almost never meeting so nobody could find out. I told her that it would be the right time to ask her parents if she was allowed to getting engaged now. (Now the big problem appears, she was arab and I afghan). She asked her parents if she could get engaged now and with someone that wasn’t arab, they strictly told her that she never could do that because of culture problems and also that she was to young and had to wait at least 2-3 years (18 both her and me), ( she didn’t tell me before she broke up later). On the third month we told each other that we would start on a fresh beginning and stop discussing so much. Everything was going SO well the 3 month, but after about 14 days we began to discuss again because of me getting so fast angry when she talked about seeing a nice guy and laughing because she was irritating me. I told her over the phone that we should breake up if she continued to be like that ( I was so angry and didn’t mean it at all) and after 10 seconds of silence she said, u are right it’s for the best, I didn’t think that she meant it at all so I continued to ignorer it, when I finally realized that she had blocked me everywhere and didn’t wan’t to talk to me anymore at all. I immediately called her, and she told me about what her parents had told her 2 days before and plus she thought that I was to annoying and that I always annoyed her with other girls. I was in shock. 2 days after I met her again and I was crying infront of her telling her that I loved her so much and that I would change myself no mather what just to get her again. She cried herself and said no, it’s best like this. So in many days after that I have been trying to convince her that I would change, but she always said no you can’t. (it wasn’t so much because of her parents I later found out, but more because of her thinking that I always were making her unhappy and making her cry when I was angry at her that it was the best thing for herself). Now nearly a month after we broke up I think of her everyday and can’t forget her. I took her virginity, she took mine, I loved her so much that I would do anything for her even if I should cut off my fingers for her. We started writing again 2 days ago as good friends, but I destroyed it all by saying yesterday that I would change myself and do everything to make her come back again, so she blocked me again. Now I am standing here like an idiot not knowing what to do? I know that zina was the most stupid thing I have ever done in my life and I regret it truly, the same does she. I know we shouldn’t have done many things and that almost everything we did was wrong, but now what I wan’t is to get her back and marry her. I wan’t to win her heart again so that she will accept me, so that I in the future can go over to her parents and ask for her hand. What can I do?......

asked 10 Thebrokenone's gravatar image

It all started with adultery of the eyes and then from that satan guided you to zina. No wonder you should look down believing men ad women.

Just pray that youre not humilated by Allah on qiyamah.. The fornicator will have private parts on his face that day

(May 03 at 21:02) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

Very much reading, I almost got lost. Asalam alikum, I am Muhammad noor. You wish to win that girls heart right? You always keep fighting with her and her family is arabian, and you are and afghani. Really her family are very ignorant and they don't want her to marry anyone but an arab, yet she committed zina with you. That shows both ignorance, lack of dignity, and very low faith in Islam. If you wanted to win her parents respect you could get to know them, help them out, become closer to that family. Like us Arabs know, we feel respected if we get invited to a big dinner, aka azeemeh. Show them how noble you are and how strong your faith is towards Islam. Don't fake being a good muslim, actually become a better muslim! Your heart will be more pure, and teach that girl about Islam more and more, as she talks back to you, your connections will get stronger. I had read, that don't marry someone who would take you from Allah, marry someone who would bring you closer to Allah, that's how we Arabs think! Become a better muslim, pray, read Quran, show respect for yourself and her family. Her father would be honored to have you marry his daughter, and you should repent to god for the zina you had committed, I fear myself the punishments of Allah for killing an ant! Fear Hell brother. Everything should go well inshallah, allh be with us all brother?

link
answered 1533 Muhammad%20noor%20qutawna's gravatar image
Your answer
toggle preview

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text](http://url.com/ "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Tags:

×578
×294
×87

Asked: May 03 at 14:29

Seen: 773 times

Last updated: May 03 at 21:02



©1998-2013 Islam.com Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.