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Asalamu alaikum. please please please help me. Iam in a very difficult position and need some advice. I married my husband 3 and half years ago. More than 2 years ago i found him cybering with other women during and before our marriage. Everytime i consult him about it he insults me and my family. He says Iam a low life and ugly and all that.i know im not perfect and i make mistakes but do i really deserve to be insulted. It was love marriage by the way he was the one insisting in getting married in the first place and now he insults me that i never liked him and his family and thats why he cheats. 6 months ago i found he had been cybering with my young cousins.They are half his age. A year ago depressed and alone i started going to chat rooms. First it was just talking to people and getting things off my chest. Everytime he insults me i cut myself. As his cyber thing increased so did my chatting. I started going on facebook opening fake accounts which i learnt from him not that its an excuse for my behaviour.I never did anything haram other than talking to non mehram men.I made mistake of talking abt ny husbands behaviour to a friend which is out character for me i never meant to do it but i was so depresses. My husband under fake identity had cyber sex with my brothers wife and asked her to strip. And they ended up with divorce. My brother doesnt know it was my husband. My husband has seen my chatting and he called a bitch. He insults me beats me and calls me every mean thing possible.he accuses me of sleeping with other men. Iam 7 weeks pregnant and he claims he is not the father.My family live far away.I dont know what to do. Few months ago he had stopped his cybering and had apologised vaguely but i didnt believe him.After 3 years of hurt i wanted to hurt him.Though nobody ever touched me or or saw me in video cam or anything.Whenever i caught him he wud accuse me of things i never did.And i never was on facebook or chat rooms but after his constant accusations and put downs and betrayal i got into the filth. I feel filthy and ashamed and i dont know what to do.Iam turning away from my deen more and more. I should have left him long time ago but this was my second marriage so i was trying to endure it.He smokes near me even when im pregnant and i hate him. He disgusts me and im disgusted at myself for what i turned into.He made me quit my job amd move to another state so im financialy dependant on him. My doctor told me not to be on my feet too much so theres a limited number of jobs i can do at this time. Its harder to find job while pregnant. Amd his claim that this is not his child probably means he would not give any support until i can proof its his baby. Any advice please what should i do thats best my child.My parents are old and poor and i dont want to burden then with my problems.I know i never cheated on him but he makes me feel like im the worst person on earth.I feel like killing myself daily. My parents and brother live tgether. And my brother also is being very mean because he says that we shud have lived with him so that he can save money.My brother wants me to help him support my parents. I have been helping support them but im schooling as well and i dont have a job right now and i cant support them right now. And i dont think it was right of him to force me and husband to live with him as his reasons were selfish in my opinion and for the fact his wife dresses very undecently and even though my husband is perverted i could not be the source of his amusements.My dad doesnt work my brother wants me to finanically help and my husband is ruining my deen and life.I dont know where to go.I try to pray but with the namaz timings fajr being at 4 am and isha at 11 i get tired easily and fall asleep. Please pray for me for Allah swt to show me the right path and forgive my mistakes.And i pray that the false accusations get lifted from me because Iam suffering for sins i never comitted.My husband treats me like a whore now and calls me b ich.I dont think i did something that bad to deserve it.And besides he did way worse for which he doesnt think he did anythin wrong.Am i wrong in this? I never let anyone touch me and he accuses me of bringing men to the house when he leaves for work.Why is Allah swt not siding wt me when He knows my innocence.Why do i have to live with this shame when i didnt do it.and he is threatening me that he tell everyone im a bi ch and that im going with other men and stuff like that

Sister, please try to work on your deen and pray. Ask Allah swt for forgiveness and guidance. If not for yourself, for your child. Inshallah your husband will follow suit. I wish I could give you better advice, but I think this matter requires guidance from a islamic scholar, which I am not.

answered 556 jasonmarlowe's gravatar image

I am very sorry to hear that but I think you should divorce him for beating you however You shouldn't divorce. When he's been cybering ask him If he's commited zina. If so you have to divorce him and go to your family and tell them everything. On the other hand you have been on Facebook and on chat rooms.

Have ever tried blackmailing him. (Probably not a good advise if he's going to beat you)

Say sorry everytime he shouts.

Ask him nicely not to do certain things

Read namaaz with him. Invite him so he looses his anger.

Then talk.

Btw. This may seem freaky but do you have sex often or used to because your pregnant now?

Turn him on when he's angry so he knows you love him

If he still continues then divorce him. Somehow tape what he does to you and show your family and his family. Don't let him find out otherwise you might get beaten.

Sorry for your marriage.

answered 131 Shbhaan619's gravatar image

Thanks for the responses. My parents know abt it. I dont want to blackmail him since i dont want to stoop to that level. I already regret talking to people on facebook so i dont want to displease Allah swt more. I dnt know whose right whose wrong anymore. Im trying to pray hard for guidance and forgivenesd.

answered 252 sham777's gravatar image

Just try hard to win him back meaning you look your best. Inshallah he will come back to you and will have a beautiful child inshallah. Btw don't put too much pressure because your having a baby.

answered 131 Shbhaan619's gravatar image

He doesnt want me anymore. Says he wants divorce and me to leave . With no job no money and pregnant i dont know where to go.

answered 252 sham777's gravatar image

This is very hard for you. I think the best thing to do is to go to your parents house. They will support you. Good luck inshallah.

answered 131 Shbhaan619's gravatar image
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Asked: May 12 at 15:29

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Last updated: Jun 01 at 02:01

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