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Salam alikum!

Im a girl who was together with a boy for 4 years. I caught him cheating on me 50 day ago . Yet i was hoping that we can be together again because i really loved him and belived in our love. Today i found out that he has got engaged and im going crazy. What should i do? Im feeling like i want to harm my body and i get suicide toughts. Im in a big shock! I have no friends in school because i have social phobia and my boyfriend was the only one i had. Im so sad that i dont know what to do? I pray alot and try to keep myself bzy in things but it just dont work. Im so lonely and i need a friend. Please help me with this situation , i know that suicide is haram so please help me what should i do? Im in a very very bad situation...

asked 157 Diyana's gravatar image

If you are a Muslim (which I will assume as you came to this site) then you got what you deserved. You did haram and you got punished for it.

The only acceptable relationship is wife-husband in eyes of Allah. This is because it is committal and proper rules to it (e.g. as in divorce). With bf-gf its like this:

X: Want go out with me?

Y: Yes

After some time

Y: I am breaking up with you (or something similar)

One cries and the other one gets another sexual partner (or gf/bf as you call it)

So you see this haram very simple to do and there are no rules to adhere to. When you ask these type of people to marry they run away from commitment, because they only want to have fun.

The moment you started getting into this mess, you already had lost the friendship with Allah. Then it was sooner or later, this was going to happen.

Anyway repent to Allah and don't get another bf. If you really want a partner then get married, have kids,enjoy your companionship with him, and most of all Allah will be happy as you are in a halal relationship (and thus there are His blessings). In haram relationship Allah has no blessings of His.




(1)Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).[17:32]

(2) Say:"O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.[39:53]

answered 8588 abdul_wasay's gravatar image
edited May 14 at 18:59

For someone who has lots of friends , its easy to think that i did wrong and i know i did wrong. But he was the only friend i had. I hv full faith in Allah but i do need some other friends too . I dont even hav girl friends...

(May 15 at 02:48) Diyana Diyana's gravatar image

Make Friends with Allah first. Good friends are less .

Let me tell you one thing i have only 1 pious friend who i always keep in touch with.

Its doesnt matter if you have loads of friends but what does matter is you have a pious friend.

Often times i didnt have friends at all and didnt feel lonely as i had Allah.

I know when i was little i asked my mother: how do i make friends? And she said that you have to just talk. Its that simple.

Lastly i would avoid making opposite gender friends because developing attraction with them is a possibility which leads to haram.

(May 15 at 08:15) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

[Quran 25:28] "Alas, woe to me, I wish I did not take that person as a friend. [Quran 25:29] "He has led me away from the message after it came to me. Indeed, the devil lets down his human victims."

Be super strong in relationship with Allah and then leave your affairs to Him . Mostly BE PATIENT when you dont have friends because Allah knows better what kind of friends they are. If they were good then they shouldnt have left in yhe first place.

May Allah guide u. Ameen

(May 15 at 08:19) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

Thanks brother, may allah bless u

(May 15 at 20:27) Diyana Diyana's gravatar image

One Question: Is there any guy on this planet who is worth giving your life and rotting in hell forever ??? just think about it,i pray it will help sister. you must know its the devils who are putting such thoughts in your mind.they do this with all of us at some point because suicide means hell and nothing could be more pleasing to them than us taking our own lives because it will ensure that well lose our only shot at heaven and will also lose this life, that is the ultimate loss.

i dont like to tell people what to do and what not to do but you should have never got yourself into this in the first place because its wrong and youre suffering from this unlawful relationship was i implore you to forget this guy,cut your contacts with him,make distances from him,dont talk about him with anyone and you will be fine in time Insha Allah.just know that nothing is this final in life sister Allah can find you someone far more better than him through a halaal relationship(i.e marriage),so dont lose hope and always expect the best from Allah swt. you may think he is the best guy for you but Allah knows what they will become in the future,he sees all possibilities.he knows who is good for you far better than any of us so please dont regret it and try your best to sumbit to his will because ultimately its for your good.

social phobia is nothing, you can overcome it by putting some efforts by knowing the reasons of your fear and trying to fix them as much as you can and by the mercy of Allah swt which has no limits.just keep trying its not that defficult, just stop telling yourself you have a phobia and see how you have made yourself believe you have a phobia thats why you are having defficulty with it. all you need to do is make yourself forget all this negative programming you and others have done on you and start can still make many good female friends in no time, just look for the right people and not the ones who lead you to something haram. just concentrate on whats more important at the moment and stop thinking about the one who cheated on you and know that you deserve better than him but dont go near these unlawful relationships because it will only bring you misery because for most of the people it is only a game and you can`t expect them to be there for you always,that would be naive. you must stay away from these things sister and concentrate more on your studies and others important things(including Akhira of course).

thats all i can say sister,Insha Allah you will recover soon from this n other problems and you will have many good friends before you go to high school. just stop thinking about all this and make your connection with Allah better,i will you in my duas. wish you well sister,Assalam Alaykum.

answered 454 Asmar993's gravatar image
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Asked: May 14 at 16:30

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