I'm a 29 year old married woman. I've spent many years in severe depression. I was brought up with very strict parents and unfortunately as a result I deviated from the path. I know I can't blame my upbringing but that coupled with horrible depression has made me very unclear as a person.
Any way I did rediscover my faith and no matter what, I have always believed in Allah. However my question is this, for the past few years I have been what I know to be someone who is not a good person. I made many mistakes and I've hurt myself and other people especially my husband. I feel lost and I am unable to understand how to change.
However the past few months things have been better. I have been blessed in ways which I feel I do no deserve as I have not been a good person. My question is does Allah still help people like me? Is there a reason for it? I don't believe I am worthy and I am scared all these good things will go away. Maybe it sounds stupid but I cannot believe that Allah would still help me after how disappointing I have been.