Salaam Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
I have a question inshaAllah and would be really grateful for an answer baarak Allah feek.
I am a 28 year old man living with my wife and kids in my own home.
I want to travel to Yemen in Ramadan for a couple of months with my wife and kids.
Main reason because I have intention to do Hijra and live in a Muslim country in the future. So I want to check out the situation in Yemen so I can plan to try and live there in the future.
Also, my wife has no family here, her mum, dad and siblings are all in Yemen. She has been in this country for 7 years. But she talks with her family regularly and does video calls so they still communicate with each other. But she doesn't mind going to see them.
My wife's mum is also my dads sister so my wife is my cousin. And my wife is my dads niece. My dad and his sister don't get on.
The problem I have is my dad won't let me travel with my wife and kids to Yemen. He says 'no', every time I ask him and says that if I do travel with my wife and kids then I will become an enemy to him.
The reasons he says is because: - he doesn't want me living with my auntie because they don't get on and will view this as a betrayal from me
he says my wife is not allowed to travel to Yemen unless she's been here for at least 10 years just like my other brother's wive's and she should wait her turn just like everyone else. But I don't see how this is relevant.
my dad doesn't like my wife very much and will view her going to Yemen as having won her way over him and my dad wants to feel powerful that he has his way over her
he wants me to travel with him in November to Yemen for a couple of months, just me alone with my mum, leaving my wife and kids behind in the UK, and then he says in 2016 I can then travel with my wife and kids and stay with my auntie.
So he is basically telling me that my wife isn't allowed to go to Yemen until 2016 for no valid reason. He is just very stubborn and wants to get his own way.
I am bored of living in this kaafir country and would like a holiday to Yemen. I want to travel in Ramadan for the intention if Hijra like I said above, but I want my wife and kids with me. Also I would like to see the rest of my family, uncles aunts, cousins etc and my wife would also like to see her mum and dad and brothers.
I told my dad that even if I go Yemen in the summer, I promise that I will still travel with him in November. But he gets really angry when I ask him and his answer is 'no'.
My dad is slightly mentally unstable. He is on lots of pills and medication. He suffers from depression and anxiety due to his hard life when he was younger. He is a violent person and was quite oppressive to us when we used to live with him. He chews qat everyday and doesn't pray salaat. He always thinks wrongly about me and has it in his head that anything I want to do, like going to Yemen, it's because my wife teaches me to. But this isn't the case. He demands a part of my income and even though I need the money for future travel or hajj etc I still give him for the sake of Allah.
He has 6 sons and we all live away from him due to his stressful way of life that makes it unbearable to live with him or go and see/help him.
Everyone knows him to be a hard and difficult man and he has lots of people, especially in Yemen including his own brothers and sisters who he is on bad terms with.
He does however try to do good with our money like buying properties and shops which he says will be left to us in the future. So he's not a money waster. And he enjoys the company of his grand kids and he asks for them to visit him every week which they do.
My mum, alhamdulillah is a good woman who is sometimes oppressed by my dad. And she is ok with me travelling to Yemen and says that if I really want to travel in the summer that I should do so. But she says it will be better if I'm able to wait till next year or the year after in order to not anger my dad.
My wife is a good wife alhamdulillah and is religious. She works hard to look after our 3 young kids on her own and has no one else to help her except for me. She is good to me and knows the meaning of obedience to her husband. I think she deserves a little break to Yemen as a holiday and to see her mum and dad.
But at the same time, even though my dad is wrong and has no valid reason for us to not travel to Yemen, I understand the meaning of obedience to ones parents and I wouldn't want to anger him. But I really can't wait 2 years and I feel depressed from this country and feel I need a holiday, for Hijra purposes and so my wife can see her family.
Also I bought tickets to go to Yemen last year with the encouragement of my mum but I didn't end up going because my dad didn't want me to. So I lost out on £1500 last year. But this year I really want to go due to me become depressed about living in a non Muslim country.
So I am stuck and don't know what to do. My question would be:
Would it be Haraam for me to travel to Yemen in the summer with my wife and kids without the permission of my dad, bearing in mind that my dad would become really angry and will see me as an enemy if I did travel?