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Salaam Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

I have a question inshaAllah and would be really grateful for an answer baarak Allah feek.

I am a 28 year old man living with my wife and kids in my own home.

I want to travel to Yemen in Ramadan for a couple of months with my wife and kids.

Main reason because I have intention to do Hijra and live in a Muslim country in the future. So I want to check out the situation in Yemen so I can plan to try and live there in the future.

Also, my wife has no family here, her mum, dad and siblings are all in Yemen. She has been in this country for 7 years. But she talks with her family regularly and does video calls so they still communicate with each other. But she doesn't mind going to see them.

My wife's mum is also my dads sister so my wife is my cousin. And my wife is my dads niece. My dad and his sister don't get on.

The problem I have is my dad won't let me travel with my wife and kids to Yemen. He says 'no', every time I ask him and says that if I do travel with my wife and kids then I will become an enemy to him.

The reasons he says is because: - he doesn't want me living with my auntie because they don't get on and will view this as a betrayal from me

  • he says my wife is not allowed to travel to Yemen unless she's been here for at least 10 years just like my other brother's wive's and she should wait her turn just like everyone else. But I don't see how this is relevant.

  • my dad doesn't like my wife very much and will view her going to Yemen as having won her way over him and my dad wants to feel powerful that he has his way over her

  • he wants me to travel with him in November to Yemen for a couple of months, just me alone with my mum, leaving my wife and kids behind in the UK, and then he says in 2016 I can then travel with my wife and kids and stay with my auntie.

So he is basically telling me that my wife isn't allowed to go to Yemen until 2016 for no valid reason. He is just very stubborn and wants to get his own way.

I am bored of living in this kaafir country and would like a holiday to Yemen. I want to travel in Ramadan for the intention if Hijra like I said above, but I want my wife and kids with me. Also I would like to see the rest of my family, uncles aunts, cousins etc and my wife would also like to see her mum and dad and brothers.

I told my dad that even if I go Yemen in the summer, I promise that I will still travel with him in November. But he gets really angry when I ask him and his answer is 'no'.

My dad is slightly mentally unstable. He is on lots of pills and medication. He suffers from depression and anxiety due to his hard life when he was younger. He is a violent person and was quite oppressive to us when we used to live with him. He chews qat everyday and doesn't pray salaat. He always thinks wrongly about me and has it in his head that anything I want to do, like going to Yemen, it's because my wife teaches me to. But this isn't the case. He demands a part of my income and even though I need the money for future travel or hajj etc I still give him for the sake of Allah.

He has 6 sons and we all live away from him due to his stressful way of life that makes it unbearable to live with him or go and see/help him.

Everyone knows him to be a hard and difficult man and he has lots of people, especially in Yemen including his own brothers and sisters who he is on bad terms with.

He does however try to do good with our money like buying properties and shops which he says will be left to us in the future. So he's not a money waster. And he enjoys the company of his grand kids and he asks for them to visit him every week which they do.

My mum, alhamdulillah is a good woman who is sometimes oppressed by my dad. And she is ok with me travelling to Yemen and says that if I really want to travel in the summer that I should do so. But she says it will be better if I'm able to wait till next year or the year after in order to not anger my dad.

My wife is a good wife alhamdulillah and is religious. She works hard to look after our 3 young kids on her own and has no one else to help her except for me. She is good to me and knows the meaning of obedience to her husband. I think she deserves a little break to Yemen as a holiday and to see her mum and dad.

But at the same time, even though my dad is wrong and has no valid reason for us to not travel to Yemen, I understand the meaning of obedience to ones parents and I wouldn't want to anger him. But I really can't wait 2 years and I feel depressed from this country and feel I need a holiday, for Hijra purposes and so my wife can see her family.

Also I bought tickets to go to Yemen last year with the encouragement of my mum but I didn't end up going because my dad didn't want me to. So I lost out on £1500 last year. But this year I really want to go due to me become depressed about living in a non Muslim country.

So I am stuck and don't know what to do. My question would be:

Would it be Haraam for me to travel to Yemen in the summer with my wife and kids without the permission of my dad, bearing in mind that my dad would become really angry and will see me as an enemy if I did travel?

asked 152 Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image

How old is your dad?

(May 21 at 21:42) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

Around 59. Why?

(May 21 at 22:36) Muslimmanyemeni Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image

Yor dad is muslim?

(May 21 at 23:31) abowaleed abowaleed's gravatar image

Yes he is Muslim

(May 21 at 23:34) Muslimmanyemeni Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image

Then you have to listen to him...you can travle without his pormition but but it,s kind of harram calls (uqooq)...and it,s realy baaaad harram....if your father or your mother angrey from you..allah him self whil be angrey from you...and you don,t want that.

(May 21 at 23:44) abowaleed abowaleed's gravatar image

Jazaak Allah Khair abo waleed.

But what about my wife, she wants to visit her mum and dad?

(May 22 at 00:14) Muslimmanyemeni Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image
showing 5 of 6 show all

Jazaak Allah Khair abo waleed.

But what about my wife, she wants to visit her mum and dad?

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answered 152 Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image

Hello brother...your dad a muslim?

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answered 965 abowaleed's gravatar image

Yes he is Muslim

(May 21 at 23:34) Muslimmanyemeni Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image

Try to talk to him and make a deal with him...like.:you can go with him now and after while you can go with yor famly...or try to send yor mother to talk to him by good way

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answered 965 abowaleed's gravatar image

@abowaleed

I have tried many times. He says I can only take my wife to Yemen in 2016. He doesn't listen to anyone. He is very stubborn

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answered 152 Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image

ok send your wife and your keeds alone to yemen and you stay with him in ramadan month go with him...or eney time later.

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answered 965 abowaleed's gravatar image

@abowaleed

He doesn't allow me to let my wife go to Yemen. He says she can only go in 2016. If I let my wife go before 2016, he says I will be an enemy to him

And I don't want my wife to go alone. I want her to go with me

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answered 152 Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image
edited May 22 at 00:52

That is bad..... How about you and him and your wife and the children com to makkah-saudia arabia to make (umrah) or (hajj) ...and your wife family met you in makkah?

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answered 965 abowaleed's gravatar image

@abowaleed

Firstly I can't afford hajj with my wife and kids because I give half of my income to my dad every week because he demands it.

Secondly my wife's mum (who is my auntie and my dad's sister) and my wife's dad are very poor and can't afford it.

Thirdly my dad doesn't want to go hajj. He wants me to go with him Yemen in November.

Fourthly my dad and his sister (my wife's mum) don't talk to each other.

Fifthly my dad doesn't get on with my wife or any of his 6 son's wives. And there will be too much problems if we all go together as a family.

My dad is a little mentally unstable and hates women and doesn't trust them.

Did you read my full question?

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answered 152 Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image

I,m sorry but your dad is proplme not jest dad.....and if you listine to him now with his condition?you goin to find it with allah alot of khair at the nex life in the heven. And it,s abut year and six month....not that far....allah help you-from all my heart

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answered 965 abowaleed's gravatar image

@abowaleed

Jazaak Allah Khair brother. I appreciate your help and talking to me. And I would like to listen to my dad and be patient for the sake of Allah. But I don't want to oppress my wife and take away her right to visit her mum and dad because it is Haraam to cut ties with your family. So I want to obey my dad. But I don't want to do Haraam and oppress my wife and disobey Allah.

Because obedience to Allah is greater than obedience to my dad.

And my wife has been in this country for 7 years and she wants to visit her mum and dad.

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answered 152 Muslimmanyemeni's gravatar image
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Asked: May 21 at 20:10

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Last updated: May 22 at 09:21



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