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Asalam alaikum, forgive me for long question but i need to make it as clear as i can so i can get ye to understand where im coming from. so to begin im married 6 years and have kids. my husband and myself do not get on whatsoever we try to but we always end up fighting we do not have sexual intercourse on a regualar basis the maximum in one month we make love is about 7 times, he does a few night shifts a week and sleeps in the day so would explain why less intercourse is made, however i have asked my husband to cut down the night shifts cos he sleeps too much when he does them and gives less time to me and children im always at home we never go out as a family and it just hurts cos im fed up of it, i no it seems that you may think he is working for his family but NO that is not the case here in the 6 years e are married i never have asked him for money and today i asked him for money for childrens clothes he refused said he dont have money so i checked his bank he has 900£ in bank! he wants to do 5 night shifts and that means family will have no time, he wont listen to me just says he doesnt care about me and that he can go live seperate if i dont let him work 5 nights so i told him yes go live seprate because i have had enough i know many of you will agree that what he is doing is right but it aint because i think family comes before money in life, money do not follow with you in your grave does it?? and u canat make up the time u miss out on with your family!i cook 3 times A day breakfast lunch dinner, i wash clothes, clean dishes, clean house i do nearly everything and raising the children i think he doesnt value that either please help me maybe i should leave him??

asked 101 oneummah's gravatar image

Salam Sister,

“And if you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his relatives and an arbiter from her relatives. If they both desire reconciliation Allah will affect harmony between them. Verily Allah has full knowledge, and is aware of everything.” (An-Nisa 4:35).

It is not possible for anyone on this site to advise you wisely; since none has a full and proper understanding of the circumstances of your marriage.

If your marriage breaks down - and from what you say it is in danger of this - then you and your husband are not the only ones who will be affected. You are aware of this, of course.

The best I can suggest is that you discuss this matter with your husband, and with trusted members of your respective families - in accordance with the verse quoted above.

May Allah (Subḥānahu wa Ta'Ala) guide you. He is the best of guides.

I hope this helps.

answered 1905 Paulus's gravatar image
edited May 23 at 10:00

Hello sister Try to talk to him directly about you...and try to take a time off between you and him ..about amonth and see what he going to say. And do not make this move(time off)alone..he have to agree with you and do not make it like breakup ... Jest make it like visiting your mother or some thing like this..

answered 965 abowaleed's gravatar image
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Asked: May 23 at 08:59

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Last updated: Jun 03 at 07:59

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