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Here is the verse:

“Men are in charge of women because Allah has made one to excel the other… Good women are obedient…As for those women who are disobedient: admonish them, refuse to share their beds, and hit them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them.” Quran 4:34 [Holy scripture of Islam]

Now I know this is a bad translation, but I think we get the gist of it. And I agree with this verse, I do not have a problem with it. To me this verse says that when a man provides for the family, including the wife, than she should obey him when it is in her interest, in his interest, and the interest of the household. I would have liked it if it said that the husband should also obey the wife on matters that concern her. Anyways, I was thinking what if the wife is the sole breadwinner of the family, and the husband is a stay at home dad who cooks and cleans and takes care of the family. This is not unheard of, and is becoming more and more common in society. In this situation, wouldn't you say that this verse can be interpreted in a way to say that the husband should obey the wife when it is in his interest, in her interest, and the interest of the household?


asked 10 elmira1994's gravatar image

read the "sublime koran". that chick translates 'hit them' as divorce them. she says the word has like 27 meanings and one is 'to divorce'. only translation i've ever heard say that, but hey, what can you say.

(May 28 at 12:16) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image

No, the verse can not be twisted in the way you are suggesting. Islam makes it clear that men are in charge and head of the household, and women are the submissive ones. Not the other way around. In households where both work, it is still the man who is the leader. But households where men choose not to work, this is not right.

According to Islam, the man is the one who provides for the family.. and the woman is not required to work (she can if she wants to and has her husband's permission). The man should not fall short of his duty. So a man staying at home and not working by choice is in error. Allah سبحانه و تعالى said: "Upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable" (2:233). And plenty of more proof in the Qur'an and Sunnah that it is the man who has to provide for his wife and children.

"..I would have liked it if it said that the husband should also obey the wife.." - That would lead to problems and arguments among the two. To prevent that and ensure smooth interactions and settlements on issues, Islam is clear that the man is the leader and in charge. Having said that, a woman has rights over her husband, needs/desires which he has to fulfill and she may also give her husband advice which he may take into consideration.

وعليكم السلام و رحمة الله وبركاته

answered 6236 iLove01's gravatar image

so if a couple of muslims get married in college (or univ for our british friends). let's say they are both pre-med and planning to be doctors. but as can be the case sometimes one fails out of school. let's say it's the man. the woman goes on to graduate top of her class and becomes an ob/gyn. she goes into practice will group of doctors and established her self. she's makeing $300,000 a year. then she has a baby. let's say her husband has been working as a cab driver in the mean time. you are saying she should quit her job and stay at home?

(May 28 at 12:24) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image

So I actually talked to a scholar and he said that if men are the head of the households because they are the obligatory providers of the family and they are less emotional, thus making them a better candidate for the head of the family. HOWEVER if the woman excels the man in both these areas, then she can take the role of the head of the family.

(May 28 at 13:47) elmira1994 elmira1994's gravatar image

I will presume you are coming from western concept of equality. Allah has made woman like that who enjoys warmth of her husband as an example.

I am sorry to say Allah knows creation more than you so assumptions are irrelevant because we believe in what He speaks and He only speaks from wisdom you and i cant comprehend

(May 28 at 18:49) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

Mike - If she's able to both fulfill her duty/role and also work, it's fine. But if practicing medicine gets in the way of her natural duties, then yes.. best to stay at home.

Elmira - and what proof did he give?

(May 28 at 23:56) iLove01 iLove01's gravatar image

Sorry @Abdul. Didn't know who you were talking to.

(May 28 at 23:58) iLove01 iLove01's gravatar image

I am speaking to elm

(May 29 at 00:08) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

Np keep up good work

(May 29 at 00:18) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

elmira1994, where did you find this enlightened "islamic scholar". tell him he should start a website.

(May 29 at 11:33) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image
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Asked: May 28 at 02:03

Seen: 529 times

Last updated: May 29 at 11:33

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