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I am mother for my 7 months old baby,day to day he is getting more attractive to my sister in law(she is just doing her colege),its hurting me actually,my mother in law already passed away but my husband's mother family use to mention him as her baby while talking,I use to get jealous and angry ,because of this I am quarrel with my husband and no peace at all Please advice me on below I am exposing my angry as I want my son to be attached to me ,I know its hurt her but she is keeping her limit if i do so and my baby was attached to me for the wholeday.Am I doing wrong by hurting her or I am fighting for my baby NOTE:since my childhood I Am not attached to my mother,I use to be with my aunts only until I fully grown up,my mother also felt bad because of this.

asked 10 Nazimunisa's gravatar image

Salam Sister,

Let’s take your baby first:

At the age of seven months he knows perfectly well who is Mum is. Although he cannot express himself in words you are the one he loves and trusts the most; and why not….since you are the one who looks after him the most.

As for his getting attached to others (especially to your sister-in-law)…this is perfectly natural, and is no cause for concern. Your son is primed to seek out the company of other people, especially those members of his family that he sees most often. If he is confident is the presence of other people, then that’s a compliment to you. Babies who trust their Mums trust others in return.

Now your sister-in-law:

Most women (not all) are primed to respond positively when they see, touch and even smell a baby. There’s something about a baby’s wide eyes, direct stare, chubby cheeks, honest smile and general cuddlesomeness that makes them go all soft inside (most men respond in the same way….they just hide it better). She is doing nothing wrong. Let your son play with her, and get to love her. She’s his aunt after all. And hey……..he knows who his Mum is.

As for your in-laws: It may be that when they saw your sister-in-law playing with your son one of them said something like: ‘Well look at that……anyone would think it was her baby!’ This is just a tease. Don’t worry about it. Everyone knows that he’s your son.

And now for you:

It’s perfectly normal for a Mum to be protective of her baby, and to feel a wee bit jealous when others appear to be the focus of his attention. Stop beating yourself up about this.

You quarrel with your husband because you feel unsure of yourself and upset. We all quarrel with our loved ones from time to time, and often for this very reason, so welcome to the human race.

It’s sad that you are not attached to your mother. If she is still with you, then maybe you can change that. Maybe her grandson will help you to do this. In any case, there is absolutely no reason why the relationship you have with your son should not be as close and as loving as it ought to be. It’s up to you (while he is young); and then to both of you as he grows older.

I hope this helps. And may Allah (Subḥānahu ūta'āla) bless you and your baby (and your family, of course) and give you a very happy life together.

answered 1905 Paulus's gravatar image
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Asked: May 29 at 13:59

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