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Salam, I wanted to ask if it is permissible for a girl and boy to be just friends. I have a friend, we have been friends for a long time, we both know very well that we cannot be married, so we don't talk about that but just talk to each other as friends. I just wanted to ask if this kind of friendly relation is allowed in Islam. It's a kind of long distance friendship, were dont meet each other, just im or rarely talk on phone.

asked 103 QasimSajid's gravatar image

For social purposes its not allowed unless there is a necessity e.g. as a work colleague. The chances of temptation are high and one can fall without knowing it. You will be "blind in your emotions" and this is what exactly devil wants. First he tries to tell you that you have innocent intentions and from there he plans, and you then start walking into his path. At some point if you lose your imaan you might be overwhelmed by temptation that you commit zina, may Allah protect us from that. The hadith points out: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I have not left behind any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” (Saheeh – agreed upon).Exceptional woman explained: The pious woman are exception because they veil themselves from non-mahrams and carry high degree of modesty. The question is that did "Mother of the believers" ever socialize with men like woman do today? Naozobillah for me saying it; may Allah bless Muhammad (pbuh) and his wives who are like mothers to us and role model for Muslimahs.

The point to be noted in the following verse is that the sentence "don't even go near" is used instead of "don't do". So any means which get us there should be avoided altogether.

And come not near {instead of don't do it} to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).[17:32]

The devil is more experienced than you unfortunately and you will fall into his plan at one point or another. The best way is to believe that your Creator knows better than you (see bottom of this answer for related verse) know yourself about your body. Verily the QURAN says:

O mankind! Eat of that which is lawful and good on the earth, and follow not the footsteps of Shaitan (Satan). Verily, he is to you an open enemy.[2:168]

Again see the eloquence of the Quran. Instead of saying "don't follow satan" it says "don't follow footsteps of satan". So Allah is trying to tell you that you don't give him a chance for him to be the predator and you be the prey. Rather you become the predator:

Those who believe fight in the cause of Allah , and those who disbelieve fight in the cause of Taghut. So fight against the allies of Satan. Indeed, the plot of Satan has ever been weak.[4:76]

Fighting is jihad and the greatest form is jihad-bin-nafs.


Allah wishes to lighten (the burden) for you; and man was created weak (cannot be patient to leave sexual intercourse with woman).[4:28]

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answered 8588 abdul_wasay's gravatar image
edited May 30 at 20:07

Thank you soo much for clearing it up :) JazaakAllah

(May 30 at 22:34) QasimSajid QasimSajid's gravatar image
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Asked: May 30 at 17:35

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Last updated: May 30 at 22:34



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