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salamu 'alaykum

I have always been disturbed regarding sex. not always but nowadays i have been feeling stranger i am 18 male.

  1. whenever i make imaginations of couples doing the act. my stomach feels upset, or my heart does Why does this happen is this jealousy?

  2. This Also happens when i make imaginations of me doing it a with made up girl my heart feels squirmy and heavier. I have pondered deeply about sex and asked allah for guidance and have attained MANY diffeent kinds of feeling like jealous, depression, concerned, eroticness, etc etc etc etc

I WANT TO KNOW DO OTHE RPEOPLE HAVE THESE FEELING ALSO or am i astray or is it because i dont mix with women and because i really want to do this act with wife but cant get married yet.therefore i get depressed or something

i need to know this because everyday i get up late from bed because of daydreaming about this almost everyday i waste my time alot. i get out of bed at 3:00pm to 4:00 pm dont pray fajr and

AND A FINAL QUESTION Why do i get a painful feeling in my heart when i make imagniations of women making noises when they have orgasm and why do i hate it when women make noises. i want to understand but when i make imaginations of married couples (made up ones) my heart hurts

asked (suspended) saq009's gravatar image

No its imaan. When you try to watch that dirty stuff your imaan gets weaker, and thus your shame also reduces. This change of shame causes you to react that way. From devil's perspective he sees your barrier being weakened between you and the devil himself.

Its similar to someone who smokes cigarette first time. Like in cigarette you can also get addicted to pornography with repeated acts.

Coming to the wife part: after being addicted to this dirt, you view her as a sex tool and think about woman other than your wife. That is injustice to her.

Those all woman in the porn are non-mahram to you and even looking at them is haram. They are just actors which is nothing like as in real life intercourse. And you know the sad part? They are making money out of your lusts. To put it simply, you are paying them. "You waste your time, and they make the money out of your wasted time. So it benefits them, not you. You are just being controlled by them."

You are being dragged by a chain of lusts from these woman to your doom, and eventually you will end up in hellfire with them.

I have heard complaints about "husband watches porn even in toilet he takes laptop" etc many places where it gets to extreme. Or "he is more interested in porn than in me". It destroys relationships and the most dear to Iblees is the devil who causes separation between man and his wife. So the design of those videos might seem desirous to you but it is all a "wolf in sheep clothing".

What if Allah put your eyes on fire on the Day of Judgement for that? You are a zani by watching them without intercourse according to a narration.

So now Islam gives you a solution. It reprimands this and gives a solution.

The main two alternatives are:

  1. Fasting
  2. Nikkah

Islam also gives a way to avoid going "near" the act of zina (zina is not the person who only performs the intercourse but also who gazes at non-mahrams as stated).

The principle is lowering your gaze and protecting your private parts. Notice why gaze is mentioned. Its something to be taken deeper than just literal. This is because the optic nerves are directly connected to the brain, so that's where all that starts comes from.

From eyes, your hormones rise, then you get dirty images in your head, and from that the worst possibility can happen: walking towards zina i.e. the mediums of zina as I call it (friendship--->texting----->photos------>holding hands----->confession------>gf+bf haram----->hellfire as an example of ellaborate scheme of the devil. Know that he is your enemy and you must know his tactics). And then the ultimatum: actual zina.

This all advice is coming from a Muslim who started knowledge of Islam afresh and regrets these sins committed in the past, and may Allah have mercy.

[MY own personal method of avoiding gaze is to take my glasses off. My vision gets blurry and the details of the picture are lost. In this way, Allahmdullilah, Allah gave me a strength in my weakness (of eyesight)]

I will put in quotations here for your reference:

Lower your gaze

(1)Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.[24:30]

(2)Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6243) and Muslim (2657) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “Allaah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina which will inevitably catch up with him. The zina of the eye is looking and the zina of the tongue is speaking. The heart wishes and longs and the private part confirms that or denies it.”

(3)And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).

Masturbation is a sin. Some may say its OK to do this, in this or that situation, but alternatives are provided in Islam. It doesn't befit the logic that treat fire with fire but rather it should be that fire should be treated with water. The Quran states to "guard private parts" and the Hadith gives the alternative "fasting" instead of Nikkah if you aren't able to afford to do so.

I know brother the sad reality is no one wants to give their daughter on basis of their deen (well most of them). Their culture has dominated over the true teachings of Islam. Unislamic customs have been brought which include intermingling and extravagance. Their parents are interested in his wealth that he is earning without knowing it is provided by Allah. So put your trust in Allah and make dua for marriage (be patient in your duas). And pray for a believing woman for she will marry for your deen not your wealth. Look at the following hadith:

The Prophet used to say, "After fear of Allah a believer gains nothing better for himself than a good wife who obeys him if he gives her a command, pleases him if he looks at her, is true to him if he adjures her to do something, and is sincere towards him regarding her person and his property if he is absent."

And also The Prophet (saw) said, "The marriage which produces most blessing is that which involves least burden."

“… And whosover fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (of every diffuculty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice Him… (Surah Al-Talaq, 2-3)

answered 8638 abdul_wasay's gravatar image
edited Jun 08 at 20:32
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Asked: Jun 08 at 17:59

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Last updated: Jun 08 at 20:32

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