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I was born and brought up a Muslim and obviously when you're growing up, you don't question what you're told. However as I got older I felt less and less into religion itself (I never wore a hijab either, if that's worth mentioning.) It's always my mom saying "make sure you pray" and "learn more about your religion" so I just got on with it but I’ve gotten to a point where I’m not happy with it. I don't drink or smoke, I eat halal and I don’t believe in sex before marriage (and I haven’t had any relationships either) so there are some elements that I agree with but on the whole, this isn't about me wanting to tell my mom I don't feel religious or me leaving the religion, it's about sharing my thoughts and looking at what other people think. At the end of the day, for me I don’t feel like I need religion or its teachings to live my life, it’s very forceful and if you don’t follow it to the book then you’re damned. I’m not going to pretend I’m the best person in the world but I also don’t think religion is what makes people good, it’s themselves.

Now I've always believed in Allah and I always will, for me He is something I really feel to be true. I’m so thankful for all the times He’s been there for me and I don’t question Him at all, however, it's just religion as a whole I’m not really in to. I feel as though all religions are in some way contradictory to their beliefs and they all have a set way of living which is impossible for everybody to abide by perfectly, risking an eternity in hell. I went through a phase of pushing myself into religion where I prayed and read the Qur'an as much as possible and it made me feel at peace, but I don't feel like I need to do that in order to grow closer to Allah. I also felt fake as I was doing it to look like a good Muslim when I didn’t feel it in my heart. I feel just theist and not religious at all, but at the same time having some parts of religious teachings within me as I was brought up that way. Also, everything comes back to God. Religions, generally, are different paths that people take to get to God, and so isn’t it perfectly decent for someone to take their own path towards God?

My mom is religious, as is my older brother and so I feel like how I'm feeling now is going to break my family apart as I get older (I'm 19 now and I also have a younger sister and brother.) I don’t think it’s right for myself or my family to try and force views upon me that I don’t agree with so long as I live and strive to be as good as I can while on the earth. Also, when I have kids, I’m not going to force them into believing anything either, just as long as I bring them up with the best values and teaching them right from wrong. I know a lot of people will probably leave hate for me, but can someone please offer decent thoughts on the situation? I don’t think anyone or anything will change my mind but I’d like to see what other people think.

Just as a note: dad’s not around, my parents are divorced. He wasn’t a great man and not a very good Muslim either.

asked 101 ineedhelpplease's gravatar image

I am going to ask series of questions hope thats ok for you.

Firstly, did you have a proper education in Islamic studies?

(Jun 25 at 18:46) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image


I was in the same situation. I follow the rules of Islam, but I never was very religious and I'm still not. I don't wear a hijab either, my mom nor my sister don't either. My whole family is Muslim but we aren't very religious. We never have Quran playing in the house except in Ramadan, but I always have music playing in my house. I love to dance and sing with my friends, and I'm in choir. I don't dress very Muslim like, I don't wear shorty shorts but I don't wear long sleeves and I wear skinny jeans and capris. What I'm basically saying above is that I'm in the same situation.

Recently I have been browsing this site and learning more about Islam. I feel that even if I'm not religious the more I learn the more I feel better about myself. You feel good when you pray five times a day, take a second or two before you sleep to say a surah, and brows online to learn more about Islam. I used to have nightmares every night and couldn't sleep, but now that I started praying and saying one surah or two before I sleep, I can wake up rested. I'm very sensitive when people talk to me about Islam, probably because I'm afraid they will tell me I'm doing everything wrong and I'll go to hell. but now that I have been learning more about Islam and becoming more confident about my knowledge, now I can face people when Islam is brought up. All I'm saying is that just look into Islam some more, you'll feel better about yourself.

answered 103 Sarrah%20Idris's gravatar image

Sister thank you for asking your question.

I pray Allah guides you and directs you to that which is right. Your question may need a long answer.

answered 40118 UmarAbdullah's gravatar image
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Asked: Jun 22 at 10:46

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Last updated: Jun 26 at 07:34

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