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As allamualukm I'm a young muslim man who believes and generally tries to do all things that is good. I've always been different ever since I was little. I've had different thoughts. Over the last couple of years ive developed sexual feelings for men. I try to be straight and act straight but the situation is made even worse is by the fact that no matter how hard I try, a girl won't seem to like me. It's like they meet me and sense something is different about me. Ive also been bullied a lot related to other things and over the last several years ive had many suicidal thoughts. Twice in the last couple of years have I attempted suicide. I would just like to know what must I do. I didn't choose being gay nor did I choose to be not as manly as every other guy. I just want to do the right thing.

asked 10 anonymous896's gravatar image

Even I have occasional sexual feelings, suicidal thoughts etc (and dirty evil desires like that) but I have changed with the help of Allah (swt) solely through adopting the following (from my perspective):

  1. Salat improvement
  2. Daily Quran recitation

Look for weaknesses in your worship (ibaadah) and improve upon it.

Remember that only difference between animal and human is that latter has control over his nature. Animal doesn't and it does what its nature tells it do. You and I can control it.

Trust me we don't want to be going about messing in this life and ruining our hereafter in the process.

I don't deny that you have male attraction and suicidal thoughts but you must reject the devilish whispering.

Let me tell you why most of the time it will be the weaknesses in your salat method (e.g. intention, tajweed, understanding etc.): (I recommend you read to grasp its importance; no wonder its second pillar to tawhid).

If you still get satan whispering after improving your imaan then I have some good news:

This is not the first or the last time that the believers have been exposed to this (devilish whisperings). It will continue so long as there is any believer in this world. The Sahabah/companions of the Prophet (may Allah be pleased with them) also faced this problem. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Some of the companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said to him, ‘We find in ourselves thoughts that are too terrible to speak of.’ He said, ‘Are you really suffering from that?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘That is a clear sign of faith.’” (Muslim).

Adapted from IslamQa

Do know that suicide is no option. You will go straight to hell!

Narrated Thabit bin Ad Dahhak: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Whoever intentionally swears falsely by a religion other than Islam, then he is what he has said, (e.g. if he says, ‘If such thing is not true then I am a Jew,’ he is really a Jew). And whoever commits suicide with piece of iron will be punished with the same piece of iron in the Hell Fire.” Narrated Jundab, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “A man was inflicted with wounds and he committed suicide, and so Allah said: My slave has caused death on himself hurriedly, so I forbid Paradise for him.”

Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 23 Hadith 445

answered 8588 abdul_wasay's gravatar image
edited Jun 22 at 19:59

Assalamualaikum. please understand we all have temptations. Some are just different then others. We have temptations to lie, cheat, steal, do drugs, cheat on our spouses, compulsive shopping whilst forgetting the poor around us, some even suffer with temptation to commit rape , and yes, some of these are more extreme then the others but they are still urges that we must overcome. Your temptation might not seem as harmful as the urge to steal or do drugs, but it is still harmful to your soul and the societal structure. Contain your urges and over time inshaAllah you can and will overcome it. It is not as different of a sickness of the mind as those who lie, or hoard money. Your test might be greater then others maybe because you are stronger then most. I knew of an old Hafiz who was never married and passed away at a ripe age of 65. His old friends always knew he was attracted to males as they knew him his whole life and his stories of before his decision to commit his mind to memorizing Quran. Everyone knew that he chose to become a Hafiz and dedicate his life to seeking knowledge in hopes that he would overcome his weaknesses. He never married for his own reasons. May Allah bless his soul. He gave up a worldly pleasure for that which is greater. I do not suggest you remain unmarried, but only if you can overcome those urges, as it would be unfair for your wife. We all struggle with urges and those urges make us closer to Allah by constant prayer and knowledge seeking. Remember that as the Shaitan sees he is losing you and you are becoming closer to Allah, the Shaitan will try every trick in the book to make you as far away from Allah as possible. We mustn't forget that the Shaitan was proud and possessive over Allahs love, so it does not want us to have Allahs closeness. Allah is AlRahman AlRaheem Allah is Wali.

answered 215 Student922's gravatar image
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Asked: Jun 22 at 14:53

Seen: 234 times

Last updated: Jun 23 at 00:26

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