i feel like i have no faith in al ilah(allah-the god) because sometimes i feel like he is not there and somethimes i have emaan in him.
So first how do i beleive in him properly, i think i have mental infirmity not disabled or brain damage just weak. So i need help
How do i belive in the one who created the heavens and the earth. also i get confused sometimes i think that there is someone who created the heavens and the earth ande there is al ilah. so i belive in like two when al ilah is the only being that created the heavens and the earth.
also when i read the quran it seems that i begin to belive differently, at the same time i beleive that al ilah(allah-the only one worthy of worship) created the heavens and the earth and i beleive that there is someone else who revealed the revelation. when i read the quran of course no human talks like the way allah talks but why do i get soo confused.
Also allah gives me many signs like when i ask him something somebody nods there head from faraway as a yes. or if i ask allah something then someone may say no but they are talking to someone else, and i am asking allah inside me!!! so allah has given me major signs BUT how do i believe that all these signs(the creations of the heavens and the earth, the quran, and the other sings like allah almost talks to me or gives me signs through human gesturing etc) come from the ONLY ONE BEING THAT IS OUT THERE.
SO WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY 'IF' al-ilah allowed me to go up to the heavens and the earth and allowed me to see him, then i would see al ilah if he allowed me but we cannot see allah so how do i have proper emaan in Allah as if i had seen him. so how do i actually believe in whoever created the all of his creations. so how do actually have faith in him.