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I have been in a relationship with this guy for a year and a half. My parents found out twice now about this. I have suggested to my bf that we get a nikkah done, this way it will be better for us and we will not be going behind our parents back, because emotionally and physically it is killing me. But he says its a really big thing, if it doesn't work out, I would turn round and say to him you've married me and you promised this that and the other. How do i convince him? He wants to still be with me as he loves me but why wont he do this?

asked 103 confusedd's gravatar image


If he loves you enough then he shouldn't stammer in telling you the reason for the delay in Nikkah.

He is throwing a big "if", that if it doesn't work out. Does he mean that your relationship doesn't work out? That's not a small question and it questions his seriousness of continuing halal relationship with you. Think wisely we don't have time in this world to waste. We grow old and die, and having a good companion is essential.

Its better to confirm what his intention are: 1) to stay bf and keep doing haram, and get sin for every act you do together 2) actually get Nikkah done and get reward for every act (including intercourse) you do together

I think I will show you an enlightening hadith:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of one’s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said, “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628.

The true relationship between husband and wife is shown in the Sunnah, and it millions times more romantic and blessed (if Quran and Sunnah are followed by couple accordingly) than gf-bf haram. Look at two general comparisons made and let us know if it makes sense:

  1. Allah is happy
  2. Keeping each other happy is a reward (a good way to earn good deeds so this encourages love in the relationship)
  3. Parents are happy
  4. Blessings and mercy of Allah
  5. Leads to paradise

Lets look at the gf-bf:

  1. Parents not happy (or not just aware)
  2. Acts are included in zina
  3. Allah is angry
  4. Leads to hellfire

So you got a chance in this life to set things straight.

I will quote Shiekh Ahmed Deedat: "When you play with fire, you end up in hellfire".

Its truly by Allah's guidance and the imaan left in you that you posted your question here. May Allah bless you and your husband inshallah.

Jazakallah Khair

answered 8638 abdul_wasay's gravatar image
edited Jun 24 at 20:25
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Asked: Jun 24 at 08:31

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Last updated: Jun 24 at 20:25

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