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I have been married for 3 months and have recently been placed in Idaa by my husband, whom I love very much, fisibillah. We are very young, I being 20, him 21, and we both have a variety of shortcomings. My shortcomings have surpassed his and have caused the demise of our marriage. I hit him, I spoke harshly to him, and I did not do my duty as the wife.

I had a trial-filled upbringing and resentments that I had towards my parents consumed me almost completely. This, in turn, makes me consciously and unconciously push everyone who loves me away. Whenever my husband or his family did something that I did not find suitable, I would lash out at them and allow shaitan to infiltrate my relationships with them. This has left its lasting mark.

My fear is that my husband will never love me again, and at this point, where the guilt from my character flaws keeps me awake at night at prevents me from being truly happy, I want to do WHATEVER it takes to make things right. We have decided to to this ramadhan to clear our hearts of all anger and decide if divorce is best, but need help finding ways to bring care and love back into his heart for me. I love him, and all I want is another chance to show that. I made dua that Allah SWT forgives, that my husband forgives me, and that Allah SWT helps me to truly forgive myself. Please help me save my marriage and my soul. Jazakullah Khair.

asked 10 sabreen13's gravatar image

Al Salam Alaikom,

In Sha Allah your prayers would answered and I pray for you and hope anyone who reads this does so even in his mind, and the Angel would tell him "And may you too have the such".

In Sha Allah there are many things that can be done, and as long as your husband has given you the chance, there is 1000% you will success, and lets remember that hears are between Allah fingers and He directs them as He Wishes.

Men, I will tell you, forget so easily, and when they give a chance for something to happen, that means they wish it to be so. Here are the 10 things I believe would make the most difference, and they are all based on doing the good (Ihsan): 1- Asking forgiveness 24/7 from Allah and guidance. 2- Not speaking with your husband about what happened and you being sorry, or giving him reasons, but instead give him the actions that follow and not that actions speaks much louder than words. 3- Search for the little things that he might enjoy or usually asked for when he was in a good mood. Do them, for Allah, and in doing so do not get discouraged by him not accepting them at first or being so positive in return. Persist in being good and doing the good. 4- Speak in a soft tone and a respectful one, showing him you are one degree below him, being the woman that Allah created to depend on the man, so he has a step higher than you; make him feel that. 5- Praise his good qualities verbally, and bring the memories of how good he acted with you in the past, and speak about your positive feelings. 6- Be VERY VERY good towards every relative in his family, and deal with them using the points 3 and 5 above. 7- Stand by him in anything, whether daily decisions or large ones, however BIG, and show your appreciation and liking sincerely. 8- Smile all the time when in his presence, smile from the heart, just being happy that he is there, and its a good chance to tell him that you love him dearly and take him to be your role-model in being a good person. 9- Don't be demanding from him, or judge him at all, this is very devastating to a man self-worth. 10- Don't argue with him, and read quickly when he gives orders, he is testing you, so pass this exam.

May Allah bless your marriage and guide you to His Path.

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Asked: Jun 29 at 13:11

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Last updated: Jun 29 at 13:55



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