Salam, i really suffer from high sensitive and emotional person. I cry a lot and i feel like i have to make everyone happy and i stress my self and i end up breaking down or somebody will say something and i will take the wrong way and question it (when a normal person will ignore)
i have been on depression tablets for nearly 6 months for this problem, this problem triggered off when my marriage broke. i was left with a 1 year old son, however alhamdulilah i have re-married and i am blessed with an amazing husband and i am very happy, my son will be 6 this year.
But still i have issues with myself, the depression tablet stopped my crying and outbreaks which was great at first and me and my husband was having less arguments but when we did have an argument i was VERY angry towards him, breaking things, shouting, harming myself, the anti-depressants contained my emotions so much that i let out my stress with anger, we have been having a lot of problems because of me - i cant control it, i am breaking my family apart, my husband has ordered me not to take those tablets which i respect because i hate being angry, i have stopped taking them - it has been two weeks and my high sensitive and emotions have come back, i am crying at everything, i am sensitive at everything, again i am tearing apart my life because i am not just hurting my husband but my direct family too, i just cant stop talking and screaming when a problem occurs, i am very remorseful after its all happened, i cry and i break down cursing myself for what ive done, i beg my loved ones for forgiveness but why cant i control my mouth, i cant control my tears and my anger, i cant control myself, i cry and i pray to Allah every night inside me because i want this to stop. i apologies to my loved ones all the time, i cry and beg them im sorry but how much can they take? i feel sorry for them but i know its not my fault too, i feel like i have a disease thats taken over me, i am not a bad person, i have good intentions and anything that i argue or fight about comes from someone hurting me first (but a normal person will react differently to me) it is affecting my whole life - my work life too. i am practising, i sleep every night listening to quran recitation hoping it may calm me down, it still doesn't take away my emotional side, i cry to allah in my prayers to help me. i refuse to go doctors because they will give me more medication that only triggers something else off. i want to recite duas in my daily life something that makes me a better person, calmer and help me stop talking, because thats what causes problems. Generally i am very negative and always stressed out, i dont know why - i was a happy, smily person but life has shattered me (thats how i feel) now im so bitter and always on the defensive side ready to fight. Please help me with recitations that can maybe alleviate some of these distresses. I am sorry for it being so long but i had to explain it properly.