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Salam, i really suffer from high sensitive and emotional person. I cry a lot and i feel like i have to make everyone happy and i stress my self and i end up breaking down or somebody will say something and i will take the wrong way and question it (when a normal person will ignore)

i have been on depression tablets for nearly 6 months for this problem, this problem triggered off when my marriage broke. i was left with a 1 year old son, however alhamdulilah i have re-married and i am blessed with an amazing husband and i am very happy, my son will be 6 this year.

But still i have issues with myself, the depression tablet stopped my crying and outbreaks which was great at first and me and my husband was having less arguments but when we did have an argument i was VERY angry towards him, breaking things, shouting, harming myself, the anti-depressants contained my emotions so much that i let out my stress with anger, we have been having a lot of problems because of me - i cant control it, i am breaking my family apart, my husband has ordered me not to take those tablets which i respect because i hate being angry, i have stopped taking them - it has been two weeks and my high sensitive and emotions have come back, i am crying at everything, i am sensitive at everything, again i am tearing apart my life because i am not just hurting my husband but my direct family too, i just cant stop talking and screaming when a problem occurs, i am very remorseful after its all happened, i cry and i break down cursing myself for what ive done, i beg my loved ones for forgiveness but why cant i control my mouth, i cant control my tears and my anger, i cant control myself, i cry and i pray to Allah every night inside me because i want this to stop. i apologies to my loved ones all the time, i cry and beg them im sorry but how much can they take? i feel sorry for them but i know its not my fault too, i feel like i have a disease thats taken over me, i am not a bad person, i have good intentions and anything that i argue or fight about comes from someone hurting me first (but a normal person will react differently to me) it is affecting my whole life - my work life too. i am practising, i sleep every night listening to quran recitation hoping it may calm me down, it still doesn't take away my emotional side, i cry to allah in my prayers to help me. i refuse to go doctors because they will give me more medication that only triggers something else off. i want to recite duas in my daily life something that makes me a better person, calmer and help me stop talking, because thats what causes problems. Generally i am very negative and always stressed out, i dont know why - i was a happy, smily person but life has shattered me (thats how i feel) now im so bitter and always on the defensive side ready to fight. Please help me with recitations that can maybe alleviate some of these distresses. I am sorry for it being so long but i had to explain it properly.

asked 10 reshavo's gravatar image

Salam Alaykom, May Allah bless you for seeking his way. There are two points to address, and I will do so In Sha Allah in two separate answer. The first is the "I can't control it" part, which you repeat with almost every sentence. This is basically not true, because you understand that you would be liable for your actions, I quote Surah Al-Muddathir (The One Enveloped):

35 Verily, it (Hell, or their denial of the Prophet Muhammad , or the Day of Resurrection) is but one of the greatest calamities.

36 A warning to mankind,

37 To any of you that chooses to go forward (by working righteous deeds), or to remain behind (by commiting sins),

38 Every person is a pledge for what he has earned,

39 Except those on the Right, (i.e. the pious true believers of Islamic Monotheism); (End of quote)

Thus you are a response-able person, acting irresponsibly, as a victim. You are not, this is A B C if you want to change, because there is another fact too, I quote the Quran, Surah Ar-Ra'd (The Thunder):

11 For each (person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the Command of Allah. Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah). But when Allah wills a people's punishment, there can be no turning back of it, and they will find besides Him no protector. (End of quote)

So its within your hand, and seeking Allah Help has to come hand in hand with you WILLFULLY CHANGING you acts.

More light is shed first on the basics, what is Anger and Islam position regarding it, I quote:

Praise be to Allah

You have to restrain your anger, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“…who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good‑doers).”

[3:134]

“And those who avoid the greater sins, and Al‑Fawahish (illegal sexual intercourse), and when they are angry, they forgive.”

[42:37]

This is because when a person does not restrain his anger, he insults, curses, swears and hits. Anger may be a door to all kinds of evil. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) often advised people not to get angry. Al-Bukhari narrated in al-Saheeh from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “Advise me.” He said: “Do not get angry.” The man repeated his request several times, and he said, “Do not get angry.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) regarded the one who controls himself when he is angry as being the strongest of men. Al-Bukhari narrated in al-Saheeh that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of anger.”

Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) made some important points in Fath al-Bari in his commentary on the hadeeth (narration) “Do not get angry”. He said:

“Al-Tabarani quoted the hadeeth of Sufyan ibn ‘Abd-Allah al-Thaqafi: I said, O Messenger of Allah, tell me something that will be of benefit to me, and make it brief and concise. He said, “Do not get angry, and Paradise will be yours.” It was also narrated that Abu’l-Darda said: I said, O Messenger of Allah, tell me of a deed which will earn me admission to Paradise. He said, “Do not get angry…” Al-Khattabi said: The meaning of the phrase ‘Do not get angry’ is: Avoid the things that cause anger and do not expose yourself to that which provokes it. Anger itself could not have been forbidden, because it is something natural which cannot be removed from human nature. Someone else said: What is meant is that which can be achieved by training oneself… It was said that it means: Do not do that which anger provokes you to do.

Ibn Battal said: The hadeeth indicates… that striving to control oneself is more difficult than striving against the enemy, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) described the one who controls himself at times of anger as being the strongest of people. Someone else said: Perhaps the person who asked this question was hot-tempered; the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to command each person to do that which was most appropriate for him, so he summed up his advice to this person by telling him not to get angry. Ibn al-Teen said: in the words ‘Do not get angry’, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) brought together the good of this world and of the Hereafter, because anger results in cutting off ties and withholding kindness, and it may lead to one doing harm to the person with whom one is angry, which diminishes one’s religious commitment.

One of the scholars said: Allah created anger from fire, and made it an instinct in man. When there is a dispute, the flames of anger are fanned until a person’s face and eyes become red, because the skin reflects what is underneath it… Anger produces external and internal changes, such as a change in colour, trembling, uncontrolled actions and a change in appearance, such that if the angry person could see himself when he is angry, he would feel ashamed of his ugly appearance and the way his appearance has changed. All of this is what happens on the outside. The internal effects are even worse, because it generates hatred in the heart, envy (hasad) and all kinds of bad feelings. The most ugly effects of anger are the internal effects, and the external changes are the results of the internal changes. All of this has an effect on the body. The effect on the tongue is that it speaks words of slander and foul language which the wise person would feel ashamed of, and the angry person regrets them when he calms down. The effects of anger can also be seen in people’s actions, when they beat and kill others. If the angry person does not have the chance to do that, he turns his anger against himself, tearing his garments and slapping his cheeks; sometimes he may have a seizure, or fall unconscious, or break vessels, or hit someone who has not done anything wrong. Whoever thinks about these evil actions will realize just how much wisdom there is in these gentle words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), ‘Do not get angry,’ and to how great an extent they protect people’s interests by warding off this great evil which may otherwise lead who knows where.

All of this has to do with anger for the sake of worldly things, not anger for the sake of religious matters… (Anger for the sake of Allah is praiseworthy and recommended, such as anger when seeing evil actions). It helps a person not to get angry when he bears in mind what has been narrated concerning the virtues of restraining anger, and the warnings concerning the results of anger; he should also seek refuge with Allah from the Shaytan (devil)… and do wudhu (ablution)… And Allah knows best.”

Remember, too, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was not a person who insulted or cursed others. It was reported in Saheeh al-Bukhari that Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was not a person who insulted people or used obscene language, and he did not curse people. If he wanted to rebuke anyone, he would say, “What is wrong with him? – may his forehead be rubbed with dust.”

You must repent to Allah for any curses and aggressive words that you have uttered, but there is no need to tell those whom you have cursed, so as not to provoke any evil actions. You can ask their forgiveness in a general way. With regard to the people whom you have prayed against, pray for good things for them, especially if you have been unfair to them in your prayers against them when they did not deserve such a thing. Ask Allah to be kind to you, for a person’s duas (supplications) may come back on him if he prays against someone who does not deserve them. You must keep your tongue busy with du’a and dhikr (remembrance of Allah), because this brings peace to the heart. “… Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” [13:28 – interpretation of the meaning]. Keep away from using your tongue to hurt other people.

May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.


May Allah Guide you to His Path.

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answered 55018 123%20AbduAllah's gravatar image
edited Jun 30 at 10:59

Al Salam Alaykom now for the second part, what should you recite or make dua, I will suggest some In Sha Allah would help:

I quote the first act/recitation to remember what you should do- Surah Al-A'raf (The Heights):

199 Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don't punish them).

200 And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaitan (Satan) then seek refuge with Allah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower.

201 Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqun (the pious - see V.2:2), when an evil thought comes to them from Shaitan (Satan), they remember (Allah), and (indeed) they then see (aright). (End of Quote)

What you should do: Seek refuge from Allah from Satan by saying "A'ooz Billah Men Al Shaytan Al Rajeem" + You should , as in verse 201 above, remember Allah and the right thing to do, change your focus not on anger, but on "What should I do now?" for this move on.....

Now for the second thing: Dua to make

Mu'adh (bin Jabal) (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) held my hand and said, "O Mu'adh, By Allah, I love you and advise you not to miss supplicating after every Salat (prayer) saying: 'Allahumma a'inni 'ala dhikrika wa shukrika, wa husni 'ibadatika,' (O Allah, help me remember You, expressing gratitude to You and worship You in the best manner)".

[Abu Dawud and An- Nasa'i].

Now the third thing to DO at anger times:

Narrated AbuDharr: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.

Grade : Sahih (Al-Albani) صحيح (الألباني) حكم : Reference : Sunan Abi Dawud 4782 In-book reference : Book 43, Hadith 10 English translation : Book 42, Hadith 4764

So you should either sit or lie die, change the place, go away and restrain yourself, this you can do In Sha Allah.

Then here is another dua to make for Allah to safegaurd you even from the evil of yourself In Sha Allah:

Abu Hurayra reported that Abu Bakr said, "Messenger of Allah, teach me something that I can say morning and evening." The Prophet said, "O Allah, Knower of the Unseen and the Visible, Creator of the heavens and the earth, everything is in Your hands. I testify that there is no god but You. I seek refuge with You from the evil of myself and the evil of shaytan and his (encouragement to) associate others (with You)." Say it in the morning and the evening and when you go to sleep."

حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدُ بْنُ الرَّبِيعِ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ يَعْلَى بْنِ عَطَاءٍ قَالَ‏:‏ سَمِعْتُ عَمْرَو بْنَ عَاصِمٍ قَالَ‏:‏ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ يَقُولُ‏:‏ قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، عَلِّمْنِي شَيْئًا أَقُولُهُ إِذَا أَصْبَحْتُ وَأَمْسَيْتُ، قَالَ‏:‏ قُلِ‏:‏ اللَّهُمَّ عَالِمَ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ، فَاطِرَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ، رَبَّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ وَمَلِيكَهُ، أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ، أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ نَفْسِي، وَمِنْ شَرِّ الشَّيْطَانِ وَشِرْكِهِ، قُلْهُ إِذَا أَصْبَحْتَ وَإِذَا أَمْسَيْتَ، وَإِذَا أَخَذْتَ مَضْجَعَكَ‏.‏

Here is this dua in Arabic: "Allahumma Alem Al-ghayb wa al-shahada, fater al-samawat wa al-ard, rab kol shai' wa meljaho, Ash-hadu An La Illah Il Anta, A'oozo bika min shar nafsy, we me shar alshaytan wa shirkihi"

Grade : Sahih (Al-Albani)
English reference : Book 49, Hadith 1202 Arabic reference : Book 1, Hadith 1202

So All in all, and plus these specific ones, be responsible, ACT responsible, and ask Allah for forgiveness all day and night, and SEARCH for any act in your life or family life that is not in accordance with Allah Rulings and REMOVE them from your life to achieve being calm In Sha Allah. SEEK and SEARCH and you will REACH SAFELY In Sha Allah.

May Allah bless.

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answered 55018 123%20AbduAllah's gravatar image
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Asked: Jun 30 at 10:15

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