my father always yells at my mother and my siblings including me. He always curses at people and he never listens to what we say and he thinks that everyone is trying to make him look bad when we only want to correct him or when we try to sort out problems. He used to hit my mother and he is always angry and always raises his voice and he refuses to salah. He threatened to hit me and just a few hours ago he was chasing after me with a big stick in hand to hit me. He also once said he wished for me and my mother to become ill and he once said bad things about me and my brother in front of a guest. I used to self-harm and he was one of the reasons why I did.
Because he always treats us, especially my mother, badly, I always end up arguing with him and sometimes it gets extreme to the point he would start screaming and hitting objects.
It's just that he never listens. What really makes me angry is how he constantly yells at my mother and makes my mother cry so many times to the point she said she wanted to leave the house.
I always feel guilty at the end of our argument but I just can't stand with his behavior, how he always yells at us and is always angry. I read a hadith that said that when a child makes his or her parents angry, Allah will also be angry with the child and he won't enter jannah when he dies. My father is always angry and yells at me, does that mean Allah is angry with me too? Does that mean I can't repent and I won't get to enter jannah because of this?
My eyes hurt because of too much crying. I just feel so hopeless and depressed.. :( I apologize for my bad English.