Asalamalekum wr wb I am married for almost ten yrs now, I have a son also from this marriage he is 9 yrs old. Out of these 10 yrs of marriage I was living away from my husband for four yrs due to financial problems, for used to meet him time after time when he got holiday. After four yrs we got to live together but now he does not give me the rightful place of a wife in our private life. Whereas when in public he is good to me. I have approached him many times for my bodily needs but he never pays any heed towards it. At times it is really frustrating because no one to talk with or to share my pain with. I have decided to move out but still be in the marriage. Is this allowed according to Islam? I am really tired it's like killing yourself minute by minute. Why is he doing this to me I do not know Plz do help me, let me know that should do, should I keep going on like this or move out of this marriage?

asked 11 Nazsj's gravatar image

the prophet said that no women is allowed to travel away from her husband for more than three days unless a mahram is accompaniying her but even when a mahram is with you, a man shouldnt be left alone considering that he married you on an agreement that he will provide for you and you will provide for him under this condition it seems niether of you are fulfilling your duties, also it is not permissionable for you to live alone even if you were divorced you would have to have another women or a mahram live with you it is permissionable that you since he isnt fulfiling your needs and in the situation that you want to leave you wont be fulfilling his this leads to zina when neither of you are getting what you want which is why it is better for you guys to seperate and remarry that to be apart and dont fulfill eachothers needs. It dosent seem like you perfer the choice of divorce, so it would probably be best to explain, sit down and have a long discussion about what a marrige contract is why you guys got married and which needs is it that both of you need to fulfill since both of you are breaking the contract not one. You must discuss what both of you hoped to recive from a marrige and how you guys can fulfill it. in any circumstance a women shouldnt leave her husband when she is married this is what the jews do when they no longer want a women nor a divorce and never want her to remarry which is haram

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answered 199722 NesreenA's gravatar image

The prophet also said, do not speak ill against your spouse.

When you want to divorce your husband pray astakrar to Allah and see what he tells you (what you feel the next day about the subject)

Even if he beats you or disrespects you or anything. Don't speak ill just ask Allah and to him is the best answer to all your questions.

but since you've already written what is going on, the only thing I can say is, speak with him do everything in your power to make it work, be happy pray to Allah and when you feel angry or resentful.

Seek refuge with Allah, for harut wa marut taught the Jinn how to split married people from each other.

May Allah guide you to the best decision for you and your family, Ameen.

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answered 447 Mohamad_Islam's gravatar image

As a clarification to my earlier post, I mean don't speak about your private life to anyone.

I am sorry he acts like this, he may be cheating (always suspect the GOOD until you have evidence otherwise)

Listen, regardless of financial status always have trust in Allah to take care of you, unless you were starving move to a smaller home, seek governmental help.

Ask a family member for a loan or Zakat. Honestly Sister, he may be mad at you! Speak, calmly and inshallah he will answer what is wrong.

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answered 447 Mohamad_Islam's gravatar image
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Asked: Apr 28 '12 at 04:07

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Last updated: Apr 29 '12 at 01:14


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