What actions to take when Mother acts badly?

Assalamalaikum, I can't say from my heart that I love my Mother, as the first child I know it sounds strange but growing up and observing her behaviour, my opinion of her has worsened and though I try to control my emotions and actions I sometimes question myself as to whether I should change tactics. I find that by bullet points it helps to list problems so here goes, - From a young age I have seen her abusing my father and his family verbally - This foul language has worsened since coming to a Western country - She resorts to emotional blackmail using children to support her (youngest is only 8) - She is unstable and has short violent outbursts usually triggered by anything related to my father - She gets jealous when my father receives affection from his children - She has threatened the life of my father and his family a few times now - When confronted with this behaviour (by father) she says he abuses her - I have never seen my father abuse her verbally or physically - She dislikes her heritage, culture, mother tongue, and has forbidden such influences to us - I personally love my heritage, culture, "father" tongue yet cannot pursue it - She was born Muslim but similarly is not a good one however she does not discourage us from following Islam - On the other hand she makes fun of us i.e. not reducing the TV volume when we pray - My father took it upon himself to discuss her issues with her mother and siblings, they agree her actions are wrong but when my mother is talked to about this she shuts us as well as her own family out - Her loud voice means our neighbours get earaches at all hours - Watching her family and my father's, I have come to know she is wrong in what she does, but unfortunately her behaviour has rubbed off on my middle sister, she has constant arguements and is influenced by the Western culture towards parents which is less respectful, my sister abuses, shouts, physically acts upon peopel when angry like my mother however she has the ability to be kind and caring. I have lost hope on improving my mother but I do not want this environment to be picked up by my sisters, though they see what is right and wrong, since we don't see our relatives much due to my mother they do not understand the respect for parents in the proper environment. I apologise for the longevity of this, but I address you for help in what I should do. My studies have been jeopardised as well as my regularity with praying which I am ashamed of but though I try to find a friend to talk to, there is no Muslim friend who I am comfortable to talk about this to in my area, my friends from my previous country are my only source of comfort but their distance means it's hard to converse. Inshallah things will improve but if my parent's friction results in a divorce I believe this will make us ever more estranged with our relatives of which some i have yet to meet. My mother argues that we are HER children, should obey HER command, that our father should also obey HER command since he ruined HER marriage and SHE is his wife. My mother is an attention seeker and much to my dislike chats/bitches/tells family issues to strangers who give their own opinion based on her bias. I would like to hear or more appropriately read your views, opinions, advice and would like to thank you for bearing with me through my long story. Thank you.