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My question follows: I met a girl whom I fell in love with and intended to marry. She also loved me and wished to marry me but her parents had her wedding arranged elsewhere before she met me. At time arrangement time, she liked the man but slowly, due to his lack to attention and affection towards her leading up to the marriage, she did not like him any longer. She went on to marry the man she was engaged with but still had strong feeling towards me. I did not see her after her marriage for a month due to work and wanted to give her space so she can move on. After a month, I met her again, not knowing what to expect but still having love for her. When we met, she told me that she has tried to love her husband and work her marriage out but they are consistently arguing and fighting over little things and she reaffirmed she still loves me but doesn’t know what to do. I am her best friend and I really love her as well and still am willing to marry her but I cannot as long as she is married. I do not wish to be the cause of her divorce, as I understand that it is a sin since I can be biased/negatively influence her towards her husband. So I have recently left her to create emotional disattachment so I do not become the cause of her turning against her husband. However, my question I guess is that I still love her/would marry her if her marriage does not work out, but that is if it doesn’t work out due to their incompatibility, as I do not wish to have sin on her or myself by being the CAUSE of her divorce. What is the best thing for me to do? Do I be around her trying to be her friend to help her through her tough time? Should I completely cut off all ties with her, but doing so could mean possibly losing her entirely? Islamic advice?

asked 23 shu001's gravatar image
edited Jul 29 at 22:21

If anyone can shed some insight on this question, it would be much appreciated as I know many face similar dilemmas. Thank you.

(Jul 30 at 22:58) shu001 shu001's gravatar image

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

Islam does not allow non-mahrams to interact except when necessary. You should not have been in contact with this girl to begin with. Nor should you try to 'stick around' her anymore. You are a cause of fitnah for her, my dear brother. She liked her husband and accepted to marry him. With you entered into the picture, the devil is trying hard to turn her against her husband and ruin their marriage. You need to stay away from her, and she needs to get closer to her husband. Feelings of love & trust will build in them إن شاء الله. You made a good decision to cut off all ties. Whatever is decreed to happen will happen. You just are expected to follow what your religion tells you to do properly. And that is, stay away from non-mahram women. And do not come between a husband & his wife.

answered 6236 iLove01's gravatar image


Thank you for your insight. It's amazing to see how something of complete pure intentions can be turned into and possibly lead to major sin by the Shaytan. I understand your reply and am trying to do the same: following my religion and letting Allah do what He wills, whether for or against my wishes. I ask those who see this to pray for us and others who might be in the same dilemma. May Allah guide us all to the right path and give us the strength and courage to walk upon it. Ameen.

(Jul 31 at 18:53) shu001 shu001's gravatar image
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Asked: Jul 29 at 22:09

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Last updated: Aug 15 at 08:08

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