Now updated: Ramadan calendar -

Assalamalikum I have been a muslim 50 yrs I was raised a muslim was married 3 times my last husband was from tunisia I am from los angeles california and have 3 degrees 1-degrees business administration, 2-Travel and Hospitality management 3-Foodservice management.

I was in an arranged marriage at age 16 at age 13 to 19 i worked at a convelescant hospital activities assistant then department store for 10 yrs then princess cruises cruiseline for 3 yrs then I owned a Indian Restaurant at USC in los angeles with my second husband for nine years then I managed another restaurant for 10 yrs and then moved to las vegas to be near the imam I know dr islam abdullah. I just got a job with starbucks it is a good job alhumdulilah

my first husband prince jefri bolkiah of brunei 1978-1980 last 2 1/2 years then he wanted to do business more then be married at that time i guess i wasnt royal or malay enough. my second husband I married in 92 -99 when we lost the lease on our restaurant he went home to malaysia he was malaysian. The last one i married in 2009 till now he was not easy to be with he after six months in to the marriage started to call me names (may allah forgive) and would get into my face aggressivly saying to get him my divorce papers or he would beat me till i die or cut my head off I should have known that was a sign to go.

since then, I made hajj in 1982 I always put my all into what relationship I have, and then i stayed few months separated then came back three times in 2010-2011 I tried to go home for 8 months in 2011 yet in 2012 i found a long black hair in my bathtub, and i have light brown short hair then i found out he was on 5 websites to talk to women and he had been for conversing even before we were together, then he two days after i had found out what he was doing. he said you are so divorced and i made him say it if he meant it so he said talak talak talak then he told me to leave at 1 am in the morning with no money had no job and he said I would get nothing or help.

that is not right for as a muslim he is my husband and supposed to take care of me till i am ok i am in this situation if a friend had not gone to their country for two months and needed someone to watch over their trailer i would have no where to go so i ask you how is it these men can kick us out and the apartment that was in my name not his? how is he can kick me out with no where to go and no money to go with?

and now even to ask he threatens me so i am stuck for I have no money to annul my marriage civially, and he wins to stay married to me to talk bad or to threaten. yes I just got a job and yes, i am in an ok place by the grace and mercy of allah, yet how is it right what my husband did? or what many men are doing when they know we end up in a bad way have no where to go? that is not islamic or right as human beings how can these many men doing this call themselves muslims? for this has been going on the last 12 yrs in many states not just california or nevada how is it right and how is it that many men say oh i dont care? i ask why cant they just make sure the women is ok and in a good way or have a job or get them a place to go not just toss them aside? because they got their pleasure and then were done that should not be allowed for they deal with a womans heart and then crush it how is that right even in islam? i have lived a long time and now even being alone i miss being married yet whom would want me? at 50 yrs old even though I look 30ish and am fit and healthy well hope this helps some assalamalikum

asked 111 sultana%20ciba's gravatar image
edited Jun 10 '12 at 21:37

what your husband did was wrong firsly he started the problems then when he divorced you he didnt take care of you he is supposed to keep you in his home for three periods approximatly three months but he kicked you out right away, secondly any gifts money clothing gold he has given you it was your right to keep and he was not allowed to take it from you or keep you from taking it its not right for a man to do these things as you say im very sorry you dont live in a muslim community where they would have forced these rules onto him, what he did was haram and you said why is it okay for them to do this? it really isnt i also live in california and i understand how the american system often overpowers what he islamic law is, he would have been stoned anywhere else! im very sorry yoy didnt recive the justice you should have but please dont make assumptions about all muslim men their are those who do not follow islam correctly and may treat you badly, but a true muslim man wouldnt their are many men out there who are recpectful and follow the right path. men like you ex-husband are a discrace to our religion and give us a bad name your husbands do was to take care of you and make sure you are ok, protect you at all costs, he isnt allowed to toss you aside, even though it may sem to you that they got their way, they will be punished at judgment day, this life is but a day compared to the hearafter it really isnt worth it for them to try to have the time of their lives in this life becuase it is but a day! one day justice will come unfortunatly it may not be in this life, i applaud you for being so strong, even after so much abuse and unfairness, continue to pray to allah because the quran says inna ma3 il 3usree yusraa, with difficulty there comes ease, may allah guide you to the right path!

answered 219722 NesreenA's gravatar image
  The lady's narration is certainly a sad one and deserves a sympathetic response though. However, the only help one could give her is by way of suggestion, and I would suggest her to direct her heart and soul to remember Allah as much as she can, seek Allah's forgiveness, make an wholehearted attempt to follow the deen and pray to Allah for the best in this world and the Hereafter. May Allah grant her peace. Ameen.
answered 42616 MAK's gravatar image

Men are educated these days and should not act uneducated and should think before they throw someone in the street what if someone did this to your mother your sister or a relative or your daughter wouldnt you feel shame I would yet I am a women in a land of freedome yet am a hajj and know the quran and what life is supposed to like not what you are making a fanstasy of life is hard work and allah puts us together many times so enough

answered 111 sultana%20ciba's gravatar image
Your answer
toggle preview

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text]( "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported



Asked: Jun 06 '12 at 14:34

Seen: 3,474 times

Last updated: Jun 10 '12 at 21:37

©1998-2013 Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.