Aoa, there are two objectives of questioning:
a) to know something which one does not know.
b) question for the sake of creating an argument for not accepting the truth.
If your quest is (a), then I would recommend that offer two rakat nafal and humbly and with a lot fear ask your Allah in alone. He will definitely give the answer.
The later was the objective of munafikeens and mushrikeens at the time of Prophet Muhammad (saw).
In Qur'an, Surah Ale-Imran Ayat no. 7, Allah says that, in Qur'an there are Ayats with clear meanings and there are Ayats which have "mutashabihaats", and who doesn't want follow Qur'an they will go for "mutashabihats" so that they can get answers of reality. And Allah says that reality is only known to Allah.
brother, on net there are thousand of people with different school of thoughts, and with this serious question you might get lost with many answers.
Being a Muslim you should at least have a direct relation with Almighty Allah (but with respect and fear as He is Almighty and our creator)
To strengthen relation with Allah, here is the solution:
All you have to do is sit in a quite place facing towards Qibla, close your eyes and lips, take a deep breath and remember the name ALLAH going straight in your heart and when you release your breath recall the name HOO hits your heart. Keep doing thins as long as you can.
Repeat this twice a day (once in morning and once in evening/night) for at least one month and do not miss any of these two times. You will find this a life changing experience
This is called Qalbi zikar, for more details visit www.naqshbandiahowaisiah.com
if your quest is honest Inshallah Allah will bless you strength in Eeman - Ameen.