Good Morning brothers and sisters. I have a problem, big problem. I made this girl pregnant when I was back in the Philippines, 4 years ago. My family arranged for a wedding but the girls' parents were angry that time and thus making the arrangements hard for us. She was a non-muslim girl before. Now, my family and her family are in good relationships. My problem is, I was going to marry her, but then, Our visa to become immigrants here in the US got approved, and since I can't move in the US as married that time, we cancelled the wedding. I am planning on going home next year once i earn enough money and get my citizenship. She embraced Islam, not because of me, but because it was her choice. I also told/asked her before that I don't want her to revert just because of me, but because she really believes in Islam, and she said yes. She converted to Islam years back, months after our daughter was born. My question is, is our relationship valid? though we're not married? We love each other, our families are in a good relationship. I asked forgiveness to my family and her family. Everything seems OK, its just the marriage that bothers me.

And one more thing is, I am in the US Air Force. I heard that it is not good for a muslim to join the US Military. I've been here for 6 months already, I signed in for 6 years. It was my way to get a free college, and a good paycheck so I can help my mom, and send money to my daughter back in the Phillipines. I tried looking for a job before, but because of my poor english that time, no one hired me but the Air Force. So far, they treated me good here. I am the only Muslim here at our base right now, but they were willing to arrange meetings with our dining facility to accompany me at night time for our ramadan. They even moved me to night shifts, although night shifts are only for the higher ranks with better experiences. I told them moving me to night shift was a lot of help already.

I hope you can give me some advice on my situation, especially my family back home. Thank you.

asked 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Salam

my question to you,

were you married or unmarried when that girl was pregnant?

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answered 87218 TeenMuslim's gravatar image
Islam does not permit any type of relationship between a man and women without marriage. Premarital contact of the two sexes, to any degree, is zina. A hadith states that gaze is zina of the eyes, talking is zina of the tongue, touching is zina of the hands - the private parts either comply or defy. [Tafseer Ibn-e-Kaseer]
Your relation with the girl in question is illegitimate/invalid. Besides, you committed a great sin with this act of zina which is punishable with 100 lashes in Sharia. In the time of Prophet Muhammad(SAW) and after, people committing such sins presented themselves on their own asking for the prescribed punishment, taking it to be much much less than the punishment in the Hereafter. You need to relent and repent upon this sinful act of yours without wasting another moment. Pray to Allah for forgiveness with the remorseful heart and with the determination that you will not repeat this sin again. Allah is Most Merciful and Most Forgiving - He forgives mountain load of sins to those who relent, repent and seek forgiveness. The month of Ramadan is the month of forgiveness.
 As for your job, this one you are at now is certainly the one which trains, prepares and makes you ready to strike the country's enemies which presently are non other than the Muslims - this is haram. Haram would be other jobs too which involve haram business activities from Islamic perspective, which you need to be aware of.
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answered 4216 MAK's gravatar image
edited Aug 04 '12 at 07:34
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Asked: Aug 03 '12 at 13:21

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Last updated: Aug 04 '12 at 07:34


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