I am a 29 years old pakistani Man. I had a formal nikah with a Pakistani Muslim girl who treats nikah as just a piece of paper and tearing that would end the relationship not to her only but also her whole family thinks the same about the relationship. Also, she has been talking on the phone and chating with alot of other guys even after nikah and I found in her HIV test reports that she provided the indormation as "Sexual relationship with multiple hetrosexual males". So, on further inquiry I found that, she had been claiming love for me for the past 4 years and at the same time she has been having sex with every other person she met with here in USA. The reason I have been in relationship with her was her epilepsy, a mental desease. So, she and her tried me and kept me on probabation for six months to see if I can let her live the same type of life or not. Now, the question is that she has a mental problem and if I leave her and if she makes a stupid act like killing herself or something like that then would I be responsible for any such action, if she take? I dont think she would but dont want to be the cause of any harm to any person in the world and would I be asked for it in the life hereafter? as i can not ofcourse let her have relationships with other guys. It may be ok for her brotehrs but not for me. Her attitude towards me and the relationship is really very bad. It is bad to the extent that someone can not even think about. Also, when they dont think it to be a marriage, do I need to divorce her or not and in this case without rukhasati do I still have to pay the Haq Meher that I paid in the form of transfer of two shops to her name?

Please, explain completely.

asked 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image
edited Sep 22 '12 at 12:41 aaliya ♦ 1.0k1415 aaliya's gravatar image
If you are sure of what you have stated of her character and morals, your decision to divorce her seems to be right. Whatever the reasons be, you may still proceed for divorce in accordance with Surah Al-Bakarah, ayah 236. As regard the meher, it is half of the agreed [Surah Al-Bakarah, ayah 237].     
If the transfer of two shops against meher was the agreement, you have the right over return of one back to you.
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answered 4216 MAK's gravatar image

Salam brother...MAK ... this is what I should be doing but still I fear that it would create more mess in my life from hereonwards... as I have been a simple person... a very successful one... and no matter I could pray or not but tried my level best not to harm or hurt anyone... even if someone hurt me... I sollowed it as a pill that tasted bad... this woman posed to be deep in love with me and for her I risked my very good job in Pakistan.... I moved here in US for her... now the situation is ... tht if I leave her... I have to face some case in court... either by her for a divorce... or by me to claim my shops back... and moreover I still do not want public to know about her character... but as far as I know... she will not leave me alone or let go of me easily without doing that... rather the personal information that she has about me ... she will missuse it against me... now my question is ... y did I have to be in such a bad situation and being decieved by such a bad person... I severe to Allah... what I have written is 100 percent true... but at the end she becomes innocent infront of the world as I do not want to expose her character even when I have the documentary and video proofs with me and when she knows that I know about it all... so tell me some way that I can get out of this situation and can you tell me why was I tested and been put in this situtation ... when I was really honest . sincere and committed to the relationship? or if the whole world actually works like this?

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answered 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image
I can not say why you are in a situation like this. May be your conscience search may help you, but let me remind you of Surah Ash-Shura, ayah 30 which reads: 'Whatever misfortunes striketh you, it is what your right hands have earned. And He forgiveth much.' 
I can only advise you to relent, repent over your sins and seek Allah's forgiveness. At the same time pray to Allah for His help to get you out of this situation in the best possible way - it is  Allah alone who can remove you from this distress. Bring you acts in accordance with deen-e-Islam, which can happen when you learn Quran and sunnah and then follow it, what-come-may.
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answered 4216 MAK's gravatar image

DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE!!! IF SHE REALY LOVES YOU SHE WOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO OTHER GUYS IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO IF SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU WHY WOULD SHE KILL HER SELF AND IF SHE DOES KILL HER SELF SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HER OWN DEEDS. dude u r a kind and soft man for staying with her but it is not worth it. and i hope you haven't been going to other women while you were with her

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answered 11 ali%20d's gravatar image
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Asked: Aug 04 '12 at 02:28

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Last updated: Jan 31 '13 at 16:17


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