Assalamu Alaikum! Im a muslim and got a wife and 3 lovely children. My delema started when we got here to US. Unfortunately, I thought that I could easily convince my wife to convert to Islam by means of dawaa & showing her how good a. muslim. husband and father am I. Unfortunately, it didnt work that way. We are always arguing every weekend when she adwants to take my kids to their church. Please advise whats the best thing for me to do. The way i see it she is very persistent in bringing my kids to their church even though it will cost her our marriage. We are in America and I pressumed that the law here favor her more. I have been vigilant in protecting my children and i dont want to loose them. Please advise ASAP. Thanks & Assalamu Alaikum to All

asked 2012 adobongmanok's gravatar image
 A Muslim man can marry a Christian woman but the offspring are Muslim and must be raised in the Islamic way. Responsibility of the children's up-bringing rests on you but in the type environment you are in, you just cannot do that without the cooperation of your wife which you do not expect. Your influence on your children cannot be as much as their mother's, so even if you try to teach them of deen-e-Islam the impact would not be of significance.
 It is a very very disturbing situation where you, conscious of your own responsibility towards deen, remain concerned regarding your accountability in the Hereafter. If your wife does not reconcile to the fact that the children are to be raised Muslims, then perhaps the tough decision of divorce - but would that ensure the custody of children with you, how would the law of the state support your reasoning, etc., are questions which require ans.
  However, if 'wait and see' can bring some hopeful prospects of better understanding, reconciliation, you may give it a chance. Check on some expert counseling methods which might help. May Allah help you, ameen.
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answered 4216 MAK's gravatar image

This situation is something that should be talked and agreed before marriage.I'm a Christian woman and my husband is Muslim.Before marriage we agreed that I wanted to kkep my faith but the kids were going to be raised as Muslims and I didn't and don't have any problems.Try to talk to your wife,this is the only way to solve this matter.

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answered 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Faith faith and more faith - islaam is for every single person, allah guides who he will and those which he has left, cannot be taught until allah brings them out of the dark..... my brother in islam, assalamualaikum, take it easy & do not worry about ANYTHING !!!!! there are NUMEROUS benefits to this situation if you choose to look at it the correct way; suboor and shukoor my brother... you may just end up with the greatest dawah scholars, did you consider this????? I was raised in the church, and i am raising my daughters in the masjid, elhamduleelah.... but i have to say i did take them to learn from the christians, not to believe what they believe, but to understand what they are being taught ... my husband is muslim from masri and he did not like this, but he NEVER EVER told me no!!!! This is because he was not scared ..... he knows that a person who is exposed to the quran, will never deny the true word of god....believe me, treat your wife with compassion through this time because what she is doing is so wrong - she will need your support to repent and forgive herself, also her children should always have faith in their mother so stand by her and do not let them see you doubt her :-) ..... remember, this country is founded on broken homes, shaytain dances and rejoices when a family divorce

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answered 246 ashieya's gravatar image

How much of a Muslim are you? Do you pray five times a day? Do you give Zakat? Do you fast for the whole month of Ramadan? Do you engage in Halal or Haram activities? Do your every day actions reflect that you are a Muslim? If your spouse sees that you are a Muslim in name alone, then from her point of view, it is far better to have her children raised with some religion than the so called religion that you may be offering to her children.

If, on the other hand, you are a devout Muslim who does follow the Islamic principles and yet your wife is not interested in allowing your children to be raised as Muslims then you need to have a frank discussion with her and probably additional expert counseling as dvised above. If nothing worsk then divorce may be the last resort.

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answered 23 Anonymous's gravatar image

Unfortunately, in the US if you divorce your wife, the chances are she will gain custody if the children in which case they will be raised as Christians with little influence from you if any. If you have real concern for the souls of your children, it may be better to stay in the marriage and, like you said, show the children through your actions that Islam is the right Way. If your children believe in and worship the One True God, the God of Abraham, and they do good deeds and believe in the Hereafter, there is hope for them. Only be careful about them believing Jesus is God. Not all Christians believe this, but most do. You should do some research about the Bible to be able to show them from their own Bible why Jesus is not God. This is what I did with my children. If you and your wife fight too much over religion, chances are your children will be resentful and not choose Islam as they are also being influenced by their American surroundings. Ultimately it will have to be their own choice. Pray for them every day. Encourage your children to love God and seek Him with all of their hearts and Allah will lead them to the Way. Insha'Allah

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answered 96511 cocolia42's gravatar image

assalamalaikum brother start praying consistently nafil nammaz as many as you can and pray to allah tht he shows your wife guidance thts an answear to all your probs do it with all the heart and inshaallah allah will show his mercy.......... and please try not only understanding the Quran by translation also use guidance of tafseer this will help you to prove your point to your wife in a better manner... may allah help you

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answered 1645 s_a_razvi's gravatar image
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To the anonymous non muslim who says you fast every day: this is arrogance. I addition, this does not impress us muslims becuase be do not believe in fasting everyday. The middle road is best for us. Muslim means a person who submits to God - technically Jesus or Isa is muslim as well as the other prophets. Ther is so much you don't know but assume yourself to know. So arrogant.

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answered 1333 Noor's gravatar image
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Asked: Aug 05 '12 at 07:30

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Last updated: Aug 13 '12 at 10:19


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