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I"m a teenage girl and I've always wanted to wear hijab even though none of the women on my mom or dad's side of the family do, but after deciding to wear hijab my mother has become furious with the way I've started and has disowned me. Ive cried and cried and have felt so depressed, I already have to face wearing hijab in public and at school and try to overcome those challenger but now on top of that my mom has said she will not support me whatsoever and feels as if I'm only doing this to spite her. She says the ONLY way she'll ever forgive me is if I take off my hijab, after I've already officially put it on and told my family and friends. How can I face wearing hijab in a new town and at a new school when I cant even face those at home. My mom feels she has been too soft on me in the past so she's putting her foot down when it comes to me wearing hijab. I've prayed and prayed and prayed but I feel like nothing is changing or nothing is getting better. I've even spent the past hour or so looking for ways to commit suicide online. I thought that because I'm being a good muslim and doing this for Allah SWT that I would have his support and that I'm doing the right thing, but listening to your parents and having your parents blessing is also stressed in Islam, which is what my mom keeps reminding me about.

Am I doing the right thing by basically "disobeying" my mom and giving up my relationship with her to wear hijab even thought I'm only 15? or even thought its completely against my heart should I follow her commands and take off my hijab?

asked 1512 sk15's gravatar image

Sister,If you have attained thea Age of Puberty,then Wearing Hijab is obligatory and Compulsory on you.. Nooo,dont take ur Hijab off,ur mother will Agree one day for it Nobody can Change human Nature except Allah.. Also,pray again and again about this matter to Allah.. Insha-Allah,he will help you..

answered 1.2k518 Ubi's gravatar image

i personally don't feel you should take off your hijab. i started wearing my hijab only a few years ago. my mum or sisters don't wear it but i chose to wear it whenever i left the house. it was my choice. i think some good advice has been given in the previous answers. don't fight and argue with your parents instead sit them down and talk to them calmly - ask your mum why she is against you wearing the hijab??

i know what i'm going to say now may offend some but it is the truth and certainly know atleast one such mother. i know someone who does read the koran and prays 5 times but doesn't cover her head, however, her 18 year old daughter also prays, reads the koran but she also wears the hijab furthermore, she covers her whole body and wears an abaya also. now, the mum is such a situation was quite upset with her daughter in the beginnning, when i asked her why she said 'i'm scared my daughter won't get a rishta (we live in the UK) because most muslim boys here don't like their wives to cover their heads etc'. maybe your mum has some similar concern?? i'm quite open in this matter and belive that as long as you are appropriately covered and not showing the shape of your body you can wear a hijab AND be trendy and modern.

so just try talking to your mother without any tears and anger (if you can help it) and inshallah allah is always here to help us. :-)

answered 0544148 UnknownUser's gravatar image


no you are not disobeying at all, (i said you are not disobeying your parents at all if they are misguiding you in the way of Islam) All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

In Islam, it is an obligation for a Muslim woman to wear Hijaab, Allaah says (which means): {O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused}[Quran 33:59]. When a woman wears Hijaab, she protects herself from the harm of dissolute people and preserves her dignity. Since Hijaab is an obligation in Islam, it is not permissible for anyone to prevent a woman from wearing it whether that is her father or anyone else, as there is no obedience to a creature in disobeying the Creator. The Prophet said: "Obedience is in what is permissible only." Therefore, it is not permissible for you to obey your parents in not wearing Hijaab and we advise you to talk to them about this matter with good words and in a soft manner and remind them that it is not possible at all to delay this matter as it should be done immediately. You cannot be sure that you are going to live that long, as the angel of death could come to you any minute. First, you have to seek the help of Allaah in doing so and then the help of pious and righteous people. We also advise you to be kind to them at all times. You should not be undutiful to them or cut relations with them just because you differ with them about the issue of Hijaab.

This is, of course, if you mean by Hijaab covering the whole body except your face and hands, but if you mean that they prevent you from covering your face and hands, then there is no harm, Inshaa' Allaah, in obeying them in revealing your face and hands on the condition that there is no make-up on them. Even if we consider that it is an obligation for a woman to cover her face and hands, still this is a matter of a considerable difference of opinion, so obeying the parents in not covering the face and hands could achieve a religious benefit. Besides, you should not go outside your home except for a necessity.

Furthermore, it should be noted that residing in a non-Muslim country is a means that lead to being tempted in one's religion and a cause of much affliction. So if there is no necessity for a Muslim to reside there then he should return to his Muslim country.

Allaah Knows best.

answered 97218 TeenMuslim's gravatar image
edited Sep 05 '12 at 05:14

Rasool Allah saws said "Obey your parents unless they ask you to disobey Allah." It is your duty and right to wear Hijab there is not sin on you for refusing your parents unfair request. Anyhow, we are all tested by Allah swt especially the ones who start practicing islam (Myself for example I have been hugely tested by Allah, so much more when I started practicing islam then when I didnt) because we need to believe in Allah in the tough times and stick with islam, because that is Imaan. "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which Thou Didst Lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out Our sins, and grant us Forgiveness. have Mercy on us. Thou art Our Protector; help us against those who stand against faith". (Sura Al-Baqarah, verse 286)

Dont fight with your parents, just tell them as a muslim its your obligation to wear hijab. Niqab though is not wajib.

Youll be alright insha Allah.


answered 0544148 UnknownUser's gravatar image
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Asked: Aug 18 '12 at 23:03

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Last updated: Sep 11 '12 at 01:24

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