Salam,

My wife is not intresed in intercourse and does not respond to my requests. i dont want to be cruesl also or force her but since i cannot control also for long....what should i do in this case

asked 1011 Patient%20Man's gravatar image

Salam Alaykum obviously you shouldn't force her. Just a question, how long have you been married? How did you meet you'r wife? How did you end up marrying your wife?

Assalamu Alaykum

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answered 4411138 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Salam

forcing is disliked,

and why this happens, she should not ignore, she can ignore only at those times which are permitted by Islam.

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answered 87218 TeenMuslim's gravatar image

Assalamu Alaykum,

i have been married three years now and it was a arranged marriage. she ignores beacuase she upsets from very petty issues and stops all communicatio with me and physical contact. then after a while say about two weeks she gets normal but a while say 7-10 days she then finds a way to be upset and the same thing goes on. this has been going on from start

jazzak allah, may allah bless you for helping.

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answered 1011 Patient%20Man's gravatar image

Salam Alaykum

Ah that is why I asked how you met your wife and how you married because I had an idea that this was an arranged marriage. And therein lies the problem. You say it started from start. It is important to know that in Islam a woman has to give her free and unforced consent to marry. She is not allowed to be forced to marry someone she does not want. Islam recognizes emotions such as love. You should have spoken to her one on one and asked her if she really wants to marry or even marry you. Arranged marriages dont always work out because marriage is usually forced and people who might not be compatible with one another end up trying to live the rest of their lives together. I hope you see what I am getting at. Maybe you should have a real, honest chat with your wife and see if she even wanted to marry you. I honestly would not, if someone arranged a wife for me, marry that women if she does not want to marry me. Allah loves a happy home, and forcing people to live together will not be happy.

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)"

"O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (The Noble Quran, 4:19)"

It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice, and she said: I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that.

also check this out http://islamqa.info/en/ref/163990

Anyhow the problem here is obviously the arranged marriage. Have an open and honest discussion with your wife. Do you really want to ignore it and continue to live in this way. Communication is the best tool. TALK TO EACHOTHER

May Allah provide what is best for you and your family. May Allah give you and your wife justice. Ameen.

Assalamu alaykum

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answered 4411138 UnknownUser's gravatar image

i thought all "proper" islamic marriages are arranged?

you seem to jump from arranged to forced for no reason, with no evidence?

personally i don't see how anyone can make the decision to marry someone they don't know, but maybe that is just me?

(Nov 22 '13 at 10:56) mikejm3 mikejm3's gravatar image

assalamo alykum sir,

i hv the same problem as u hv. but i m woman and u r man brother. my hubby is doing the same as u r wife.

Allah naik samaj de unko

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answered 153 rani786's gravatar image

Be extra kind to him, and masssage him, and quietly kiss him while you massage him. The spice should slowly come back. You may have to keep being nice for a lot of days. At night, wear your shortest top and knickers, and just walk about the bedroom for a while, doing your hair, makeup, perfume etc. He should start paying attention.

(Nov 23 '13 at 16:41) mufti saab mufti%20saab's gravatar image

Bro cut it off

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answered 23428 Faisal26's gravatar image

aww,

she is probably tired from all the work she has to do all day and cant be bothered. Come back from work one day, and just help her do the housework at home. At night give her a nice massage, and then go to sleep. If you do that for a couple of days, she should start giving you a bit more attention and will probably start to get physical.

wwb

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answered 1792 mufti%20saab's gravatar image

I agree with you.

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answered 14 Moonlightlovespells's gravatar image
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