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i have been with my husband for a little more than 2 years and its is getting to the point that we cant be around each other for a long time without fighting. at first the fights were small we'd blow each other off and go into seperate rooms untill we'd cool off. but things have been getting worst. today we got into eachothers face screaming at one another like dogs not wanting to back down. i saw the anger in his face as if he wanted to hit me and it is not the first time. it has happened before but he backs off, but today it scared me. its as if he didn't want to back off. he even had his fist closed really tight and clenching his teeth.
i love my husband and my kids love him but i feel that our relationship is going to hell!!!!! what should i do?????????????

asked 0544148 UnknownUser's gravatar image

"Teach me something that is not too much for me so that, perhaps, I may abide by it." He (S.A.W) said: "Do not get angry." He repeated that (the request) a number of times, each time he replied: 'Do not get angry."(Sahih) At-Tirmithi Vol. 4, Book 1, Hadith 2020

If you get angry, sit down (or stand if you are sitting) if it doesn't abate, seek refuge from the Accursed Shaytaan then take your wudhu.

You can't force a man to do/be what you want - rather he needs gentle encouragements. I love it when you... You look great when you... May Allaah give you wisdom and success in your marriage.

(Nov 12 '12 at 02:00) UmmRaheil UmmRaheil's gravatar image

Hello, I'm not Muslim, I'm a Christian and I don't know what the Qu'ran says about the Wife-Husband relationship but the Bible says: Ephesians 5:22-33 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

Men are supposed to love their wives as they love themselves and women are to submit to the husband. It's difficult to submit to someone who irritates you at times and perhaps hard to show love for someone who irritates you as well but we are to have God-honoring marriages. We in ourselves can't make our marriages work the way we should because we're only human and we don't know how to make marriages work successfully, we need prayer so whenever your husband is beginning to irritate you, go in your room and pray to God that He might give you strength to remain loving and submissive to your husband and that your husbands heart is softened that he will begin to treat you as a husband should treat his wife. Remember that what's easy (divorce) isn't always what's best. Allow God to work in your marriage and just be patient and obey Him. God bless.

answered 0544148 UnknownUser's gravatar image

WELL! It Depends on why you are fighting!!!

Talk it out calmly and work things out. One of the main causes of anger is usually a misunderstanding or miscommunication. Ask him what is it that bothers him, and tell him what bothers you...etc

May Allah help you my sister.

answered 111 breakfree's gravatar image

Salam Alaykum

I dont know what the fight was about, but how about you start acting like a muslim wife and stop screaming in the face of your husband. The fact that he was clenching his fist and seeming like he was going to hit you but didnt means that he doesnt want to do it, in any normal circumstance he wouldnt but that your making him so angry that he might break his own character and do something which he would, I am sure, never consider when he is calm. If you love your husband, be a better wife. Compromise, self critic, see if maybe you are in the wrong see if you need something to change about yourself. Many people do not have this ability to self criticize but it will be of a good use, make you a better person as well as muslim. If were wrong, tell him you are sorry.

assalamu alaykum

answered 0544148 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Assalamualaikum,make duaa to AllAH SWT and whenever u get angry try to change ur posture like if u r sitting then stand,recite TA'wuz that Aouzoubillahiminashaitanirajim and drink water. Also avoid hot topics which can arise a problem and try to exercise patience. Hope that it helps,Insha-Allah,Ameen. May Allah bless u,Ameen!!!

answered 10 allynah's gravatar image

i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost?then he filed for whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster?so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn't believe in all those things? then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are case anyone needs this man, his email address, his spells is for a better life. again his email is

answered 0544148 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Is he prophet?? that he addresses himself prophetsalifu?? or you are telling just a made story???

(Nov 07 '12 at 09:30) Irfan Alam ♦ Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuh Magic and Charms are Haram, please take care and stay away from them.

Quran 2:102 ...but the devils disbelieved, teaching people magic... "The Messenger of Allah [SAW] said: 'O Ruwaifi', you may live for a long time after me, so tell the people that whoever ties up his beard, or twists it, or hangs an amulet, or cleans himself (after relieving himself) with animal dung or bones, Muhammad has nothing to do with him.'" (Sahih) An Nisaa Vol. 6, Book 48, Hadith 5070

(Nov 12 '12 at 01:53) UmmRaheil UmmRaheil's gravatar image

I agree communicate! Wallah I hope things get better, because your children must hate to see you two fight! Inshallah I wish for the best for you both, and remember Allah is always there so pray to Him for help!

answered 615 Maz2728's gravatar image
edited Jun 10 '13 at 17:07

Salaam, I pray that this message reaches you in high Imen and the best of health , i read youre question i think comunication is very important , also dont forget that Allah mentions Patients in the Quran 99 times we need to be patient marriege is not easy, when he is upset just give him some space aproach him when he is better be smart, when he argues with you try to reframe from answering and, let him know wath bothers u when things are better between you. pray Dua to Allah he is the only one that can help us get threw any dificulties good luck to you

answered 112 cristina's gravatar image
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Asked: Sep 11 '12 at 01:48

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Last updated: Jun 10 '13 at 21:32

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